Bleh.

So sleep apparently is a lacking option. I’m probably going to end up, yet again, spending 3+ hours staring at the ceiling wondering what the HELL is wrong with me. In recent events though, since I’ve been a slacker to update:
-I’m having real issues with biology. As in, the exam is gonna be delayed for me cuz I’m so horrible at it and I’m late on the stuff. Real self-esteem booster right there.
-I’m trying to stop being such a bitch. It’s failing miserably, but I’m trying.
-Going to ignore some people till they stop being asses. Honestly, guilt trips, make me angry, manipulation, angrier. People not caring just hurts me mentally. So shiny fucking happy joy.
-I’m aware I sound really bitter but I’m not, I promise, just tired.
-Sitting here in my choir dress, wanting a foot massage, because my feet hurt like a BITCH and I have my stuffed bunny. This makes me happy. Francis bunny makes me happy. Woo.
-Someone needs to keep me from going insane. I’m begging you people here! On bended knee!......not really.
-I love my mom, and my dad. I really do. And my brother when he’s not being a pain in the butt. But I wish I could just do things on my own! I fucked up this time, I know. But I hate feeling like the dumb kid in our family. I mean. Rachel’s this freaking GENIUS and she’s insanely smart. So’s my dad, and my mom. And my little brother, hell, he was last year trying to help me with my Algerbra hw. So…then there’s me. Musically I’m skilled plenty, but past that, it feels like I’m failing a lot. And it frustrates me. But what does frustrate me more is the fact that nobody lets me do it on my own! I appreciate help but only to a degree…so yeah.
-This is me. Angsty, strange, insane, bratty, morbid, musical, huggy, sad. Anyone who gives me hugs is my new favorite person. People who don’t and are reading this just for..whatever reason. Hi?
---Caustic Sarcasm
How the hell did we wind up like this? Why weren’t we able, to see the signs that we missed? Try to turn the tables, let’s rewrite an ending that fits, just like a paperback novel. Instead of a Hollywood horror. Nothings wrong, just as long as you know that someday I will, someday somehow, gonna make it alright, but not right now. I wish you’d wondering where (you’re the only one who knows that) someday, some how gonna make it alright, just not right now, I wish you’re wondering where.

Grrr

I have magnets at the bottom of my blog. Cool and all, right? So I wrote “Hiding in My Own Skin, Come Back Later” on it cuz I was feeling angsty (shocking I know). I came back today, it said “hiding in my own skin, come fuck later”. I don’t know who did this, but I really don’t appreciate this. Whether it’s a reference to my being bi, or just someone being a pain in the ass, I REALLY don’t appreciate it. Now the magnets say “Bitch, don’t play with magnets” preferably don’t change it. Seriously, this stuff ticks me off. God. No music quote for today. Too irritated and too tired.

Ugh

Bleh. I have a huge blister on the tip of my finger. and don’t feel good. also am a lazy updater. Updates on lookoutforboot will now be once a month. yay.
---Caustic Sarcasm
Fall back, take a look at me and you’ll see I’m for real. I feel only what I can feel and if that don’t appeal to you, lemme know, and I’ll go, cuz I flow, better when my colors show. And that’s the way it has to be. Honestly. Cuz creativity can never bloom in my room. I’d throw it all the way, before I’d lie. So don’t call, me with a compromise. Hang up the phone, I got a backbone stronger then yours. Lalalalalala.lalalala.lalalala. yeah. If you’re trying to turn me into someone else, it’s easy to see, I’m not done with that, cuz I’m nobody’s fool. If you, you wanna bring me down. Go ahead and try. Go ahead and try.

ta dahlings

I can’t say I’m alright, but I’ve been alot worse. I love my mom and grandpa cuz they’re why I can go to Viggy’s party tomorrow night. expect sexiness. in a hat. past that, you get no more hints. um. I love my kittys. they are ridiculous. and Lauren, Nina, Maya, Marion, and Mckenna, no matter what anyone says you are wonderful wonderful amazingly awesome people and you keep the world ALIVE with how you are.
---Caustic Sarcasm
Don’t make this easy I want you to mean, Jasey, say you’ll mean it. You’re trust to kill I’m calling you out. Don’t waste your time on me. I’ve never told a lie and that makes me a liar. I’ve never made a bit but we gambled with desire. I’ve never lit a match with intent to start a fire. But recently the flames are getting out of control. Kill me with words. forget about the ease. What I deserve.

ahaha.

to anyone that asks. I don't sleep or think.
---Caustic Sarcasm
Second chances they don't matter, people never change. once a whore you're nothing more I'm sorry that'll never change. and about forgiveness well we're supposed to of had a talk, I'm sorry honey now pass out, or look thiwa.ll the' million others who do itjust like you looking as innocent as possible to get to who they want and what they want it's easy if you do it right, well I refuse I refuse!

ahem

To those of you pissed off with me for being me, bite me. but keep in mind, I bite back. To those of you who've been comforting me when I get really upset, you rock my sox. Anyone who wore red, is a good person if they weren't just for the pizza. And Marion is a special person for commenting. LAZY BUGGERS. Also, Rebecca Speiran I love you like a sister. And major apologies to anyone I've been a huge bitch to lately, stress with hw and all..
---Caustic Sarcasm
I watched the proverbial sunrise, coming up over the Pacific and, you might think I'm losing my mind, but I will shy, away from the specifics. Cuz I don't want you to know where I am, cuz then you'll see my heart, in the saddest state it's ever been. This is no place, to try and live my life. So prepare that's exactly where I lost it, see the line well I never should of crossed it, it's the very moment that I wish that I could take back. I'm sorry for the person I became, I'm sorry that, it took so long for me too change. I'm ready to, so I never become that way again. And who I am hates who I've been, who I am hates who I've been.

The Past Week.

Has been a mixture of joys and growling. And amusement. The joys being stuff like I have a B- in French which I thought I was failing. The growling being my general frustration at the world and Kyle for being so nosy. And the amusement being watching JOe starr and Jordyn fight over the smartboard with Joe on the computer and Jordyn frothing at the mouth, I kid you not. For lyrics today, look at my maguhnetz. gratzi
---Caustic Sarcasm