Eh...que Pasa?

Not much here. We had the last concert of the year band/orchestra. All was good. Except that we messed up on apalachian sunrise and MS. HENDERSON IS GONNA KILL UUSS. Well...me and Nick at any rate. BUT IT WAS NICK'S FAULT! He kept moving his fingers and...okay I'm done. :P But the after thing was fun, I got to see my little buddy! Aka Tema, whose Mr. Cohen's daughter, who always begs piggy-backs offa me. But she had to leave early cuz while chasing me she fell in a puddle. Had fun. Talked to a bunch of people *cough* BOY *cough* *ducks stuff thrown at her by common sense* wow. Did that sound as schizo as I think it did. I honestly can say it was a pretty boring day. Except for Densie& Chris's Sketch. And Ninabobina's, Jadams, Meredith's, and Anna Davis's sketch. That was fun. All of those. They were SO good. But Ben and Emily's took the cake LAAUUREEN you made me get all nervous in math by making me think about it and I forgot my lines and people were staring noohooohooooooo. *cough* now I'm really truly honestly done. Yeah whatever. And this song is dedicated (or the lyrics are) to people trying to reach someone they lurve. Cuz that's how much a romantic I am. BAM BITCHES.
P.S. Should I wear my hair in pigtails tomorrow? BRAIDED pigtails? Cuz I think I might. XD
---Caustic Sarcasm
This time, this place, misused, mistakes. Too long, too late. Who was I to make you wait? Just one chance, just one breath, just in case there's just one left, cuz you know, you know, you know, I love you. I have loved you all along. And I miss you. Far away for far too long. I keep dreaming, you'll be with me and you'll never know, stop breathing if I don't see you anymore. On my knees, I'll ask, last chance for one last dance. Cuz with you, we stand, all of them at your end. I'd give it all to be for us, your anything but I won't give up, cuz you know you know you know, I love you, I have loved you all along. And I miss you. Far away for far too long, I keep dreaming, you'll be with me, and you'll never go. Stop breathing, if I don't see you anymore.

WARNING:EMO POST

This post is all about the wishes, wants, wouldn'ts and feelings of this year. It's mostly directed around the guy I was crushing on and still am. Huzzah. Comment as you like.
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-I feel like I'm going to be sick when I'm in the same room as him
-I feel worse if he or I aren't somewhere we could have/should have been and had the chance to see him
-I wish he could have noticed me
-I wish we had no classes together and he was just another obscure figure in my mind.
-I wish he would look at me once the same way I look at him
-I wanted him to ask me to dance or ask me out.
-I wish he acted like J'amie so I didn't get along with him
-I wouldn't want that because he's nice as people go, and ...sweet
-I wish I could have just gotten over him in December or November
-I wish he was coming back next year
-I feel glad he's not because I won't have a constant ache in my chest
-I wouldn't want him to leave because that ache will be worse next year
-I wish that a hot italian guy would come into our grade next year. With a decent brain outside his groin.
-I posted that one just to annoy you guys
-I wouldn't have dreamed things would turn out so wrong.
-I wish that someone would notice me as something more than a friend whose short and emo sometimes
-I wish I had better control over my temper
-I wish the past few months had been what the entire year was like
-I wish I was at my old school so I could've had my old friends with me, and things didn't have to of changed
-I feel it's good I left because they changed and I did too
-I almost wish I didn't change
-I wish I had the guts to tell him, every day, instead of just looking away and sighing
-I wish he wouldn't fucking LEAVE
-I wish my mom and dad trusted me with my emotions
-I know they won't because I'm a teenager and they worry about me because they love me
-I wish that I wasn't a freak
-I feel like it's a good thing to stand out, live with it
-This post is too long. bye
----Caustic Sarcasm
Let's go back, back to the beginning , back to when the earth the sun the stars all aligned, cuz perfect, didn't feel so perfect, trying to fit a square into a circle, was no lie, I defined, I, let the rain fall down and wake my dreams, let it wash away my sanity, cuz I wanna hear the thunder I want to scream, let the rain fall down I'm coming clean. I'm shedding. Shedding every color, trying to find a pigment that only makes me, who I am, let the rain fall down and wake my dreams let it wash away my sanity cuz I wanna hear the thunder I want to scream, let the rain fall down, I'm coming clean

What does one do when life...

is YOUR BITCH for one day. Okay today...fast forward to lunch. Cuz that was damn fun. So I go and sit by Ninabobina who moves seats (either to avoid Jordyn or sit with Josh XD) and then I'm up against the pillar (wow that sounded disgusting) in the corner of the table, Xavier sits next to me, Jordyn next to him, and across from us Chris is made to sit down by Jim, Ben, and Jeff so Andrew can't sit down. Very amusing. Proceed through lunch with perverted jokes, stealing food, cake, and random acts of violence. End Lunch. Go to english. In English Lauren and I are partners, and We have NO IDEA WHAT TO DO to exaggerate our characters cuz they are as boring as one gets. Meanwhile, Chris and Denise sit there and laugh/smirk at us, and then Ms Ebeling came on in and corrected us and showed us how to exaggerate, and Lauren pronounced guileless as guileness. Teehee. Fast forward to after school. Proceed out to the sixth grade end, and play soccer with sixth graders (who say eighth graders can't play soccer) get Josh, Marion, Nick, Meredith, Katy, and Mikayla to join in. FUN! And John later on. Gr. But it was fun. And then some highschoolers came out, and then more highschoolers, and then the asg lady said I couldn't play cuz it was just me, Kyle, and a TON of freshies, and one sophmore. And she was afraid if I took the ball away from them I would get "hurt" because I hurt the boys egos. Nevermind the fact that her own daughter plays soccer, and I can and will frequently level people in my way. So I called up my mom which was amusing cuz I could hear her trying not to laugh. Mwhaha. Um then me and Jackie invaded the lacrosse BBQ cuz none of the highschoolers passed, and we hung out, and ate, and I poured water on Jordyn like 6 times. Or more. And then he threatened me and I threatened back. FUNFUN. So then around the end it was pretty much Me, Lauren, and Diaaanaa, and we were hanging out and making bored or comments that were boy-related cuz SOMEONE kept staring at Lauren. Bah, he is a LOSER. L-O-S-E-R mwhah*cough* *ducks thwaps* Um.umum...and then while we were in the forum, Lauren gained, not only quotes, but a new phrase. Apparently she is now "doctor love". It really is a miracle we haven't been killed by Adam yet and hidden in a dark corner. I walked with Lauren halfway past the highschool end, went back up really fast after my mom called up to the middleschool end and hid in a tree. The end. Oh yes, and this music quote is dedicated to the girls who couldn't say what they knew they should or could to that special someone.
----Caustic Sarcasm
I'm tugging at my hair, I'm pulling at my clothes, I'm trying to keep my cool, I know it shows, I'm staring at my feet, my cheeks are turning red, I'm searching for the words inside my head, I'm feeling nervous, trying to be so perfect, cuz I know you're worth it. You're worth it yeah. I can say what I wanna say, I say I wanna blow you away be with you every night, am I squeezing you tonight, yes I'm wishing my life away, with these things I'll never say. What is wrong, with my tongue, these words keep slipping away, I stumble, I stutter, and I've got nothing to say, cuz I'm feeling nervous trying to be so perfect, cuz I know you're worth it, you're worth it yeah.

Damn Regret!

Mm. See the title? Don't you guys just love me being cheerful. I love being cheerful too. Especially when it means I can use 'kenna as a pillow and have tickle fights. despite having fleas all over (cuz of my cats and they had this flea stuff but it didn't work and now the fleas are taking over and I've already killed one of the little bastards and WILL DESTROY THEM ALL WITH MY CALCULATOR) *cough* ummmm. I'm a li'l bit annoyed cuz I am STILL BLOCKED AND HAVE NO IDEA WHY! NO REASON GIVEN JUST...BAM! And I don't like that at all. Hahaha Lauren, our skit in english is soooooo crappy. JOOSH! SMOSSSH!!!! That talk after school was good. It was a sleepy sorta day. But it was still fun, despite the ASG lady yelling about the tree thing. Evil asg lady. EVIL I TELLS YA. Does anyone know if the concert next week is band/orchestra or just orchestra?
-----Caustic Sarcasm
There you go, you're always so right, it's all a big show, it's all about you, you think you know, what everyone needs, you always take time to criticize me, it seems like every day, I make mistakes, I just can't get it right, it's like, I'm the one, you love to hate, but not today. So Shut UP Shut up Shut up, don't wanna hear it, get out, get out get out, get out of my way, step up step up step up, you'll never stop me, nothing you say today is gonna bring me down! You never ask why, it's all a big why, whatever you do, you think you're special, but I know, and I know, and we know that you're not, you're always there to point out my mistakes and shove them in my face, it's like I'm the one who loves to hate, but not today!

AMOEBAS!

So so so...lets see what all happened.ME AND 'Kenna had a TICKLE FIGHT! SO fun. and we were like "nick you have five seconds to run fivefourthreetwo" and he took off really fast and we almost caught him but 'kenna stopped and we went back to doing that. And this is where things get less interesting. Go home. Be a maniac. Surf internet. TALK TO NINABOBINA and joshepü (josh mostly about soccer and WHY DID HE HAVE TO INVITE JOHN GRRR) and nina about hot guys. And friends. And evil dance class. EVIL I TELL YOU! EHHEVIIILLLLLL *cough* ummmm not much more to say. GUMMI BEARS ARE EATING MY BRAIN! CUZ THAT'S JUST HOW DAMN HYPER I AM!
---Caustic Sarcasm
I know a girl, whose obsessed with this guy, she'll call for hours, and still he hangs, and when he finally picks up and tells her to leave. At six in the morning she waits at the door, tells her to leave but, still she follows, the next morning she'll be there again, she won't let go. Can't you just go somewhere on vacation, I would book your flight and pack your bags if you want, a one way ticket outta my life, watching you fly away, I NEVER LIKED YOU! I NEVER WANTED YOU!

hee

Karate is awesome. Have I ever said that? I don't believe I will, so...okay, my sensei is the head of the dojo. But he is INCREDIBLY awesome, we're allowed to talk in the classes, I'm allowed to see the swords he buys, AND DRAW THEM FROM THE SHEATHE, more then my family let me do. :D. The people in my class are incredibly hilarious and fun to hang out with (with the exception of one of them but I'll live) and the style I'm doing is incredibly wonderfully AWESOME. Not only is this style of karate only once a week, and different from the kind normally taught (goju-ryu or goju-style) and it's motto is "apply hard to soft, soft to hard" meaning someone throws a punch, block it and respond, someone grabs, throw a punch etc. It's frickin awesome. Did I mention THAT MY TUESDAY KARATE CLASS IS FUCKIN AWESOME! Not much more to say. TWO MORE WEEKS AND I AM FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE*coughwheeze* *DIE* I have nothing more to say. NINER NINER!!
---Caustic Sarcasm
Breathe in for luck, breathe in so deep, this air is blessed, you share with me, this night is wild, so calm and dull, these hearts they race, from soft control, your lips are smooth as they graze mine, we're doing, we're doing nothing at, all. My hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me, so won't you kill me, so I die happy. My heart is yours to fill or burst, to break or bury, or wear as jewelery whichever you prefer. The words are, hush, lets not get busted. Just layin' twined here, undiscovered, safe here from all those stupid questions, hey did you get some? Man that is so dumb, stay quiet stay near stay crystal, can't hear. So we can get some. My hopes are so high your kiss might kill me, so won't you kill me, so I die happy, my heart is yours to fill or burst, to break or bury, or wear as jewelery whichever you prefer..

Yeah. whatever

Today was mostly good. my laptop got fixed by both me and daddy, though mostly daddy, little bit down in the dumps, but whatever, since I'm pretty sure ya'll are sick of my whining. And since no one listened to the last post at all, or I would bet a large amount of money they did if it wasn't Nina, I'll just drop that subject too.
On a completely different note, has anyone ever felt like they have this huge THING inside of them, and every time it rears it's ugly head we feel horrible? Yeah, for me, that thing's my temper. I've seen it before, I've seen that part of me before, and it's ugly as hell, and terrifies me. I've been painted the monster before because I couldn't keep in control, and I don't want it to happen again, not now, not ever, not even if it could save my life. I refuse to be a monster to people, and be called a bully by my own friends. And if you stupid people, or you people who care too much about someone as nutsy as me, think I need therapy, or anger management I DO NOT. I will NOT do any kinds of therapy. I intend to do this on my own. So whatever. I'm sure you people have better things to do then listen to insufferable whineiness so go have a nice day. Play outside while it's a good tempature before all the 'squiteers (mosquitos) come out.
----Caustic Sarcasm
Something has been taken, from deep inside of me, a secret I've kept locked away, no one can ever see. Wounds so deep they never close, they never go away, like moving pictures in my head for years and years they've played. (If I could change I would, take up the pain I would, retrace every wrong move that I made I would, if I could stand up and take the blame I would, If I could take all my shame to the grave I would) It's easier to run, replacing this pain with all numb, it's so much easier to run, replacing all this pain. Just washing it aside, all of the helplessness inside, pretending I don't feel this way, it's so much easier then change. It's easier to run, replacing this pain with something numb, it's so much easier to run, then face all this pain, you're all alone.