Bleh.

So sleep apparently is a lacking option. I’m probably going to end up, yet again, spending 3+ hours staring at the ceiling wondering what the HELL is wrong with me. In recent events though, since I’ve been a slacker to update:
-I’m having real issues with biology. As in, the exam is gonna be delayed for me cuz I’m so horrible at it and I’m late on the stuff. Real self-esteem booster right there.
-I’m trying to stop being such a bitch. It’s failing miserably, but I’m trying.
-Going to ignore some people till they stop being asses. Honestly, guilt trips, make me angry, manipulation, angrier. People not caring just hurts me mentally. So shiny fucking happy joy.
-I’m aware I sound really bitter but I’m not, I promise, just tired.
-Sitting here in my choir dress, wanting a foot massage, because my feet hurt like a BITCH and I have my stuffed bunny. This makes me happy. Francis bunny makes me happy. Woo.
-Someone needs to keep me from going insane. I’m begging you people here! On bended knee!......not really.
-I love my mom, and my dad. I really do. And my brother when he’s not being a pain in the butt. But I wish I could just do things on my own! I fucked up this time, I know. But I hate feeling like the dumb kid in our family. I mean. Rachel’s this freaking GENIUS and she’s insanely smart. So’s my dad, and my mom. And my little brother, hell, he was last year trying to help me with my Algerbra hw. So…then there’s me. Musically I’m skilled plenty, but past that, it feels like I’m failing a lot. And it frustrates me. But what does frustrate me more is the fact that nobody lets me do it on my own! I appreciate help but only to a degree…so yeah.
-This is me. Angsty, strange, insane, bratty, morbid, musical, huggy, sad. Anyone who gives me hugs is my new favorite person. People who don’t and are reading this just for..whatever reason. Hi?
---Caustic Sarcasm
How the hell did we wind up like this? Why weren’t we able, to see the signs that we missed? Try to turn the tables, let’s rewrite an ending that fits, just like a paperback novel. Instead of a Hollywood horror. Nothings wrong, just as long as you know that someday I will, someday somehow, gonna make it alright, but not right now. I wish you’d wondering where (you’re the only one who knows that) someday, some how gonna make it alright, just not right now, I wish you’re wondering where.

Grrr

I have magnets at the bottom of my blog. Cool and all, right? So I wrote “Hiding in My Own Skin, Come Back Later” on it cuz I was feeling angsty (shocking I know). I came back today, it said “hiding in my own skin, come fuck later”. I don’t know who did this, but I really don’t appreciate this. Whether it’s a reference to my being bi, or just someone being a pain in the ass, I REALLY don’t appreciate it. Now the magnets say “Bitch, don’t play with magnets” preferably don’t change it. Seriously, this stuff ticks me off. God. No music quote for today. Too irritated and too tired.

Ugh

Bleh. I have a huge blister on the tip of my finger. and don’t feel good. also am a lazy updater. Updates on lookoutforboot will now be once a month. yay.
---Caustic Sarcasm
Fall back, take a look at me and you’ll see I’m for real. I feel only what I can feel and if that don’t appeal to you, lemme know, and I’ll go, cuz I flow, better when my colors show. And that’s the way it has to be. Honestly. Cuz creativity can never bloom in my room. I’d throw it all the way, before I’d lie. So don’t call, me with a compromise. Hang up the phone, I got a backbone stronger then yours. Lalalalalala.lalalala.lalalala. yeah. If you’re trying to turn me into someone else, it’s easy to see, I’m not done with that, cuz I’m nobody’s fool. If you, you wanna bring me down. Go ahead and try. Go ahead and try.

ta dahlings

I can’t say I’m alright, but I’ve been alot worse. I love my mom and grandpa cuz they’re why I can go to Viggy’s party tomorrow night. expect sexiness. in a hat. past that, you get no more hints. um. I love my kittys. they are ridiculous. and Lauren, Nina, Maya, Marion, and Mckenna, no matter what anyone says you are wonderful wonderful amazingly awesome people and you keep the world ALIVE with how you are.
---Caustic Sarcasm
Don’t make this easy I want you to mean, Jasey, say you’ll mean it. You’re trust to kill I’m calling you out. Don’t waste your time on me. I’ve never told a lie and that makes me a liar. I’ve never made a bit but we gambled with desire. I’ve never lit a match with intent to start a fire. But recently the flames are getting out of control. Kill me with words. forget about the ease. What I deserve.

ahaha.

to anyone that asks. I don't sleep or think.
---Caustic Sarcasm
Second chances they don't matter, people never change. once a whore you're nothing more I'm sorry that'll never change. and about forgiveness well we're supposed to of had a talk, I'm sorry honey now pass out, or look thiwa.ll the' million others who do itjust like you looking as innocent as possible to get to who they want and what they want it's easy if you do it right, well I refuse I refuse!

ahem

To those of you pissed off with me for being me, bite me. but keep in mind, I bite back. To those of you who've been comforting me when I get really upset, you rock my sox. Anyone who wore red, is a good person if they weren't just for the pizza. And Marion is a special person for commenting. LAZY BUGGERS. Also, Rebecca Speiran I love you like a sister. And major apologies to anyone I've been a huge bitch to lately, stress with hw and all..
---Caustic Sarcasm
I watched the proverbial sunrise, coming up over the Pacific and, you might think I'm losing my mind, but I will shy, away from the specifics. Cuz I don't want you to know where I am, cuz then you'll see my heart, in the saddest state it's ever been. This is no place, to try and live my life. So prepare that's exactly where I lost it, see the line well I never should of crossed it, it's the very moment that I wish that I could take back. I'm sorry for the person I became, I'm sorry that, it took so long for me too change. I'm ready to, so I never become that way again. And who I am hates who I've been, who I am hates who I've been.

The Past Week.

Has been a mixture of joys and growling. And amusement. The joys being stuff like I have a B- in French which I thought I was failing. The growling being my general frustration at the world and Kyle for being so nosy. And the amusement being watching JOe starr and Jordyn fight over the smartboard with Joe on the computer and Jordyn frothing at the mouth, I kid you not. For lyrics today, look at my maguhnetz. gratzi
---Caustic Sarcasm

..

don't spread rumors, be kind, wear red. the end.
---Caustic Sarcasm
Lead me from the fear, and I will lead you here, there's a way out a way from here believe, I need you to keep me here.

Rumors

Oookay people. I'm sure we all know, Anna has angst blah dee blah is happy as long as her friends are. Here's a news flash, two of them aren't. This makes me all GRRRR so sorry if I've been biting your head off. But anyone whose spreading rumors about either McKenna, or Maya, can drop dead. Or if you're a wonderful nice person, try to help stop them. They are some of the sweetest, most well-intending, decent people I have ever met, and they don't deserve to be on the verge of fucking TEARS. I mean it, spreading rumors doesn't make you look good. Ever. So cork it. Anyone who has influence on rumors and cares, try to stop whatever ones are going around. At least they were brave enough to dance with people, this doesn't make them sluts. Grr. Also, Thursday is national coming out day. No, this doesn't mean I'll come out further then I have on here or too my friends, but I intend to wear red. If you support gay/trans/bi people, or even the allies of these people, wear red. Gratzi
---Caustic Sarcasm
Never give a damn about my reputation. You're living in the past it's a new generation. And a girl can do what she wants to do, and that's what I'm gonna do.And I don't give a damn about my bad reputation well no, not me. Never give a damn about my rep I never said I wanted to improve my station, so I'll never give a damn about my bad reputation, well no, not me, not me!

The picture game

How many of us have played it? Say I. Cuz I know I have. You secretly love a pic of you, then flip out about it out loud. Grrl games, we play em all the time. Does this make me look good, the flower one, the pic one,the pity one, the one about no one dances with me. I've done em all, whether sucessful or not I'm not saying, point is, boys better get used to it. And girls, don't be blatantly obvious about it if you have some guy wrapped around your finger or are just vying for attention. Lets see, weekend of laziness cuz I did all my hw. Nice suprise of having a B- in French right now. Ain't it dandy? Comment if you love me.
---Caustic Sarcasm
Raise your hand if you don't care, what those platinum girls wear. Raise your hand if you're just here, to have a good time. Raise your hand if your lipstick, doesn't make you a dumb chick, raise your hand if the shape of your hips, doesn't compare to the shape of your mind. You don't even stand a chance. I'm not taking off my pants. I'm here to start a one-girl revolution babe, yeah yeah!

bah. humbug. humbuggery

dance was fun for the most part. admittedly no guy danced with me and only Josh offered, which was much appreciated, but honestly I don't see dancing with him any different then dancing with 'Kenna. I guess it bugs me a little that even Lizzy Shelley got asked to dance but I didn't. Oh well. It was still fun. I mean dang people, there was STEAM rising in that room. And did anyone besides me and 'Kenna notice Marcia and Kelsey dancing with Masters? heh. good fun. well...I have soccer latah today. So lets hope I have some fun.
---Caustic Sarcasm
All day starin at the ceiling, makin, friends with shadows on the wall. All night, hearin voices tellin me that I should get some sleep because tomorrow might be good. But something, holds on, feelin like I'm headed for a breakdown, like I've lost my mind. And I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired, right now you don't care. Soon enough you're gonna think of me, and how I used to be.

This is the game that never ends. yes we go on and on my friieeends

So for the dance I'ma be alllll dolled up. See if I can't sucker some guys into dancing with me and McKenna! Good fun. Anyhoo, see if I can do anything fancy with the mop known as my hair. Um. been very stressed this past week, so sorry to anyone I may of hurt the feelings of by being evil and bitchy. All the cons of being female with none of the pros? Also, do you people think I should ask my (hahha not really) sophmore guy to dance or try and lure him over? XD gimme an opinion! but I am NOT gonna tell him.
Also, this song is because I'm in a good mood. also anyone who requests Smooth by Santana to dance to at the dance I will love forever.
---Caustic Sarcasm
What I like about you, you hold me tight, mmm. Tell me I'm the only one, wanna come over tonight, yeah. Keep on whispering in my ear, tell me everything that I wanna hear cuz it's true, that's what I like about you! What I like about you, you really know how to dance, baby you go up down jump around talk about true romance, yeah. Keep on whispering in my ear, tell me all the things that I wanna hear, cuz it's true. it's what I like about you!

Walking contradiction of theories, depressions and former long lost loves and friends

So. friends I knew are coming back. which is pretty darn cool. Been making stupid mistakes, need to catch up on things. and sleep. preferably the sleep thing especially. And I feel really fucked up sometimes. And I have bad habits. I need to fix those. And I need to stop using and to begin sentences. the end.
---Caustic Sarcasm
I am not afraid to keep on living, I am not afraid to walk this world alone, honey if you stay you'll be forgiven, nothing you can say will stop me from going home.

To do what to do....

Bored. And I want it to be Thurs/Fri already. So I can have less jitters. And so my lil bro is gone. cuz he's gonna poof over the weekend. I can't say I have a mood for the week cuz it's pretty chaotic. And I just realized I'm as loud as Maya at the top of her lungs. on a regular basis. This should probably be fixed. But I'm too lazy to fix my flaws. And Nina? You got served by a teacher. that=OWNAGE.XD I'll probably catch hell for that but I'm fine cuz it was funny.
---Caustic Sarcasm
Are you aware of what you make me feel, baby? Right now I feel invisible to you,like I'm not real. Didn't you feel me lock my arms around you, why'd you turn away, here's what I have to say.. Why should I care? You weren't there when I was scared, I was so alone. You, you need to listen. I'm starting to trip, I'm losing my grip and I'm in this thing alone.

When she smiles...

Okay. People say "oh Anna your beautiful" but alot of people pointed out the exact reason I DON'T have a boyfriend. Despite they're mostly focusing on looks, apparently my attitude is too big to get around. Kinda sad considering how at my old schools I could attract quite a few. Eh, you live and learn. Concert at Hill Auditorium was pretttty kickass. Despite the pain of locked knees and heels combined. And I had no idea Joe was dyslexic and ADD, did you? Bah, I'm just inattentive. Shows what I know! and everyone I used to know is poppin outta the woodwork. From Will, to Kathy to Kent...s'craaazy shit. in a good way.
---Caustic Sarcasm
I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut. Cuz my weakness is, that I care too much, and our scars remind us, that the past is real, I tear my heart open, just to feel. Tried to help you once, I guessed on the inside, saw you falling down, and you never realized, compassion's in my nature, so I offered you my hand, I left my heart open, but you didn't understand

hehehe...shiiiiiirtless

This post is all Carolyn's fault. See this dude I like in the sophmore class is prettttty fit. And then she started mentioning shirtless guys. Thus bringing around the worst of my perverted lil mind. hee! so sue me for drooling, I'm as bad as any guy with my own attitude. HOWEVER! I have kitty's. so I'm special. FYI when I make posts at 7:20 in the morning they come out as random. DAMN YOU FOR ESCAPING ME SANDMAN!! eh. th-th-that's all folks!
P.S. Just for you Mckenna and Diana lookey el song quote
---Caustic Sarcasm
This is the story of a girl, who cried a river and drowned the whole world. And while she looks so sad in photographs I absolutely love her, when she smiles. How many days in a year, she woke up with hope but only found tears. I know I can be insincere, making her promises never for real. Wearing holes of the soles of her shoes. Now how many days disappear when you look in the mirror So how do you chose? Your clothes never wear in quite the same way, your hair never falls in quite the same way, You never seem to run out of things to say.. This is the story of a girl, who cried a river and drowned the whole world, and while she looks so sad in photographs I absolutely love her when she smiles!

so..so...SO FREAKIN WHAT

HA. I love Voodooimprove club! LOVEit. j'atmie etc blabhlahowever the fuck you say it in french. list of good things this year!
----
I freakin LOVE jazz band
and choir
less classes with homework giving cuz I dropped one for music
I love voodoo improv which I can do.
Getting better at bass
not having a crush on someone either in my grade or bad looking
my sister being in college, giving me myself and I space to breathe
Developing my own style between punk and hippy
BAD THINGS
---
liking someone a grade older
not understanding geometry
putting up with constant criticism
embaressing myself in front of jazz band peeps
no more tacos! NO MORE! I CRY
people bastardizing Shakespere's Much Ado About Nothing IN A FUCKING SONG!
and discovering I might actually have clinical depression. have yet to check though
---
good and the bad, bitter with the sweet. Peace out bitches and homies
---Caustic Sarcasm
You held my hand and walked me home, I know, you gave me the kiss that went something like this and made me go oh oh. You watched my tears go red afore my tears, guess it wasn't enough to take up some of my love just my trust. Did you think that I was gonna give it up to you this time did you think it was something I was gonna do, this time, don't try to tell me what to do, don't try to tell me what to say, you're better off that way way yeah

I want someone provocative and talkative, but it's so hard when you're shallow as a shower...

yeah. Last post was blunt. And Honest. I've got a lot on my mind and alot of stress. Foremost being my terror of getting left in the dust by my friends but that's just my paranoia. Don't get me wrong, I've got great people as friends, I just feel very left out some times..Eh. 'tever. Odd thing of the week/day/month Jadams and I have actually been getting along. As in civil. As in no constant stream of insults. Go figure on that one. And Nina? I'ma sing where I please, whether you like it or not.
---Caustic Sarcasm
I said I'd move on and I'd leave it alone. But before I walked out there was something that I need you to know. I got lost in the blink of an eye. I can never get back, no I can never go back. You were not there when I wanted to say that you were everything right and it wasn't you but me who should change, but I'll never give up, no I'll never give up..What am I fighting for there must be something more For all these words I sing, do you feel anything?

Happy hopeless heartless looking for the answer

The title and music quote say it all.
---Caustic Sarcasm
I walk the line of the disappointed. I celebrate when I'm in pain. My heart and mind, can be disjointed. I built a bed in this hole I made.I recognize that I am damaged.I sympathize that you are too. I wanna breathe without feeling so self-concious, but it's hard when the world's staring at you. Another piece of the puzzle that doesn't fit. You throw your arms up your so damn sick of it. What are you searching for, love love love love...

JAMMIN bitches. and general kickassery

I have a signature doodle that's completely silly for school boards now. and not emo. at all. It is the attack devil-catipiller of DOOM. And the like. Today I was so hyper. Advisory I had two donuts and ran around like a mad mad teenager that I am. And then I had choir and jazz band and music makes me crazy(er)and hyper(er) so at lunch i had three cookies and then ran around and then up in the forum during lunch Josh gave me a bit of poptart. So the entire afternoon I was babbling on with no time for breathing. at all. cRaZy I was. and then after school me Josh, Jeff, and Adam jammed a bit, then I realized I had to go. I must remember to ask Dave my teacher in bass about Californication if he thinks I'm good enough to learn the bass line for it. Cuz their bassist (Red Hot Chili Peppers that is) is CRAZY good. Going up and down in a walking bass line at the fastest notes possible is as easy to him as scratching the back of your neck is to you. funfun.
---Caustic Sarcasm
Should I write myself out of the history books, or mark a place in time for every chance you took. Don't get me wrong, I know you've got your life in place I just have yet to take a hint, I'm sure eventually I'll stop waiting up...when it all comes down to a sunrise on the east side will you be there to carry home. The reamins of my wasted youth, this wasted time on you, has left me shaking and waiting for something more...

Top Ten Things to do in one week

1. Learn more bass lines and manage to keep up in quarter note times.
2.NOT have a crush on anyone
3. Leave choir early and invade Mr. Jones class while telling awesome stories about his chair
4. Hang out in the forum with 'Kenna listening and singing to my ipod.
5. Learning whole new ways to do stuff, like fornicate with eyes *cough* Nina and Josh *cough*
6. Discovering new ways to take sentences from innocent friends.
7.Invade Mr Jones' class for a second time and have him comment on it.
8. Discover Meghna to have a spore implant that emulates LSD 24/7.
9.Discuss cricket orgy's and throw walnuts at random family members.
10. Never EVER let Shamik go "Heeheehee." the same way Maya does.
That's the best week I've had. it's had it's ups and downs, but was still kickass.
---Caustic Sarcasm
Well I, must of had too many diet cokes. Cuz I'm laughing at all your stupid jokes. You've gotta stop spinning my head around. You turn me inside out and upside down. Now I'm All Messed Up, I don't know what to do all messed up on you. All Messed up on you.

First Day of School

Wow. I am lazy. Sorry, but my compy lags everytime I try and write a post. so less often posts. Umm jazz band was kickass, I have new song stuff, and have written new ones, not alot to say. missed people, am frusterated slightly but I'll get over it. Weirdly, it feels like everyone who left is just gonna walk in the door tomorrow and subconciously I know they won't but it feels like they were just out with the flu or something. Go figure. Short post. here's your music quote.
---Caustic Sarcasm
Last years wishes, and this years apologies, every last time I go home. I take my last chance, and burn a few bridges on my way, I only keep myself this sick in the head because I know how the words get to you, We're the new face of failure, prettier and younger, but not any better off, bulletproof loneliness.

Yeah. whatever

I think I'm pretty much braindead. And pissed as hell. I have to go to some stupidass camp I didn't even ask to go to because of course some fucking camp with a bunch of adults telling me how to organize something in a way that doesn't work with my bizarro little mind. I'm sick of it. and I don't care what other people think of the way I organize things, it works, I just need to cease slacking more, and work my ass off more then I did last year. And we're going backpacking which I'm still nervous about, any time my ankle feels fine and I'll be like yay it does this evil twing that reminds me of it's presence.And my stupid blog is lagging. and I hate math tutoring. And I'm confused and I hate summer without being able to swim and I'm turning into that ugly person I turn into over the summer and she scares me how mad she gets over the little things. I don't wanna change, or if I do I want to be approachable to people instead of that freak. yeah. I'm down in the dumps.
---Caustic Sarcasm
I watched the western sky. the sun is sinking. The geese are flying south, it sets me thinking, I did not miss you much, I did not suffer, what did not kill me, just made me tougher. I feel the winter calm, his icy sinews, now in the firelight, the kiss got to you, another night in court the same old trial, the same old questions asked, the same denial.

ninjas and ankles and boys, oh my or something like that

I'm bored. and my ankle hurts. and I wanna go back to my dojo. and I wanna go to nina's party or for it to be sooner. and I don't wanna go on vacation hiking at all.the end
---Caustic Sarcasm
She's a lover, baby and a fighter, shoulda seen it coming when it got a little brighter, and I never thought it would look like this and then, never thought of it again, california rest in peace, simaltaneous realease, california show your teeth, she's my priestess I'm your priest, yeah, whoa.

PLANET EARTH

Turn your tv to Bravo Channel. There is a concert known as Planet Earth. They're trying to STOP global warming. So far Snow Patrol, Genesis, Black-Eyed Peas, John Legend, now Duran Duran, and Chili peppers are gonna play. So watch it. please. It's cool. and short post because I dedicate this post entirely to anyone helping with this concert to save OUR Planet.
---Caustic Sarcasm
Hey Miss Murder Can I, can I, make beauty stay if I, take my life.

Yeeesh

Less in pain! Because my ankle is *almost* healed up. I can walk on it, but my mom wants me to use either crutches or a brace to be careful. I have a kitty on my bed yes I doooo. and he's furry all ov...okay I'm done. but he's cute. Hmmmmm..Diaannna, you can come to soccer sessions I think in August? maybe sooner, but we might be leaving for hiking later this summer. SO yeah.-.-' why couldn't we go somewhere with hot dudes huh? At least Mackinac is interesting! And 'kenna dahling, have your party in august, it gets hottest then. :P I'm learning bass. it is awesome. The math tutoring I'd be happy to do without, but the bass is awesome. yep. short post, I'm lagging lotsatons.
---Caustic Sarcasm
I gotta be honest, I think you know, we're covered in lies and that's okay. At least somewhere beyond this, I know, I hope I can find the words to say, anyways, never again, no no, no never again, cuz you're a god, and I am not, and I just thought I'd let you know. You're a god oh when I am not, I just thought I'd let you go...

Bleah.

Less angst than before. which is good (Thank you Nina! I owe you lotsa tons have that party soon grrl!) I am however in pain. See I was playing soccer with my parental units, and I slipped, and my foot stuck out, and my sister hit my foot and landed on it, cuz we were both going to the ball. SO now I have a sprained ankle and crutches. And I hate it. Everyone's treating me like I'm made of glass and everytime I protest mama and Daddy say "You should appreciate what we're telling you, it'll help you not make it worse." How much worse can it be? I can't do ANYTHING right now, can barely get down or up the stairs on my own, and am completely useless, AND I'm hungry and can't go into the kitchen without getting swarmed by my kitties. I really don't like this at all. AT ALL. whew. Now that THAT'S over and done with. Vacation time...eh. mostly spent hanging around, went to Evanston (right next door to Chicago folks) and helped my grandpa get ready to move to Ann Arbor. Meaning move all his stuff out cuz he's a packrat, but I love him anyways, despite all the splinters I got. Oh yes, and I saw USA VS MEXICO MENS SOCCER BITCHES! It was a GRUDGE MATCH. And I mean GRUDGE the two teams really don't like each other. So awesome. USA won, but at least 95% of the stadium was Mexico fans. It was an entire sea of green. Anytime someone started chanting "USA, USA" they started going "Mexico Mexico" and EVERYONE in the entire stadium would do that. So. awesome. Eh. whatever though.
---Caustic Sarcasm
Tomorrow's just another day, another way to spend my day, all by myself. Staring at the TV screen, flipping through my magazine, everything is unclear, cuz I need you here, dododo, and I wake up, put on my makeup, pick up the phone, nobody's home, I need to break out, get me some takeout, stand so the crowd, I wanna scream aloud, that I'll be okay. I'll be okay.

anngssttt

yeah. I feel angsty right now. see Jadams and I are all fighty and stuff (breaking our temporary truce) and it irks me. alot. He assumes that people are gonna lie down and let themselves be walked on and when they don't, he throws a goddamn fit. He thinks that we can be friends, but if his version of friend is someone to walk on, I don't wanna see what he treats his enemies like. Oh wait, I already KN OW what, I am one! This is an incredibly bitter post. I feel stupid. Until the last 3 weeks of school I couldn't manage to have a frickin conversation with the boy I like. And now he's gone and even if he did or is gonna go to Viggy's party I'll miss him because I'm in Chicago right now. Joy to the friggin world. I can't see Kayla or anyone else leaving. yea I'm bitter. EDIT: anyone who feels like showing monsieur ass (jadams) this post, can if they like, everyone else, have a nice summer.
---Caustic Sarcasm
And you can't fight the tears that ain't comin, or the moment of truth in your lies, when sooner or later it's over I just don't wanna miss you tonight and I don't want the world to see me, cuz I don't think that they'd understand, when everything's made to be broken. I just want you to know who I am, yeah.

Confusion, happiness, sadness and relief?

Well. that's it. That might be the last time I see some people in my grade. or at least regularily. I had a good time at Cedar Point, despite the sunburn. I got soaked at least 17 times, which is always fun cuz there's a bridge under this water ride you can stand under and when it hits water you get completely soaked. Good fun. I could almost say I preferred sitting on the buses and hanging out with people , *coughhackwheeze*boy*coughackwheezewheeze*, Just..it's kinda sad how many people are leaving. And it doesn't feel right cuz some of these people are what make our grade OUR GRADE. Even if it doesn't show. And I don't want them to leave. Because I like our grade the way it is, even if Nolan is an asshole. I mean cmon, these are people I've only known one year and gotten attached to. I can't imagine how people who were here since sixth grade feel, but I can make a guess. So..yeah. goodbye to you people leaving, if you don't come back and visit I WILL HUNT YOU ALL DOWN. naw I'm kidding. Only not cuz I'll miss half of you. But. yeah. Bye.
---Caustic Sarcasm
Just wanna get it over with. Tears form behind my eyes, but I do not cry. Thinking about the days that've passed me by. I'm so tired of living down in my soul. Searching for the memories all over again. And I say, goodbye to you, goodbye to everything that I knew. You were the one thing I loved, the one thing I tried to hold on to.

All in favor to kill? I!

so..confused. Vaguely embaressed too. See I wrote a song the other day ( and I rarely get inspiration for that)and I left it at school apparently cuz Kyle found it. Joy. Yet another thing to be mocked about. Meh. I guess I'm feeling kinda down considering I just figured out how many people in the grade probably dislike. I'm not gonna justify myself but I will explain something to you people. This is one thing I don't mind getting out. Just because I act ONE WAY at school, doesn't make me that way all the time. You know, part of the reason I act that way is so that people WON'T get to know me. There's people I let in my ..hmm space. And there's people I keep out through various methods. Immaturity, bitchiness, etc. I really couldn't care less if you guys start thinking oh she's a freak unless I'm depressed and stuff at the time, but seriously. Get to KNOW me before you judge me. Don't assume something, don't be irritating about what you do know, and please for the love of the gods don't sing offkey. It hurts my ears. hmm. oh yeah and Nina? I luffers youu! *hugs*
---Caustic Sarcasm
In reasonland, the emperor came down, to the waters edge, says I don't know why I'm down, I've got emeralds and rubies, sewn into my gown, but I am sadder, than the diamonds in my crown. Will you lay me down, in a fiddlers cloud, lay me down to dream, let my achin head be still, let me surrender to your will, lay me down to live a reason land. A mighty queen, came down to the sea. Said I might flee, every battle that I beat, got a hundred men battalion, they all fall down at my feet, but there's a songbird, he wil not sing for me. Will you lay me down, in a fiddler's cloud, lay me down to dream, let my achin head be still, let me surrender to your will, lay me down, to live a reasonland.

spill the beans. or some kind of fruit

Right. No more soppiness for anna. At least till after CEDAR POINT speaking of that does anyone know when it starts/ends? and I still need somewhere to stay in ann arbor afterwards cuz my mom will be in birmingham. Ehmmmmmm. Okay whoever's telling 'Kayla stuff about my blog and sutff? IT'S NOT YOUR RIGHT. if she reads it, fine, but if someones telling her all my personal info I post on her that she can tell to the grade? you die. The end. short post cuz my compy's lagging. oh yeah and this song? IT'S MINE, copy it and I will break out the flaming marshmellows. I'm not joking
---Caustic Sarcasm
I feel like I'm dying, in a major way, you caged me in here, too little too late, I feel like crying, no tears, no more. Caged bird sings, you sigh, caged bird cries, you lie, all along I knew nothin to think. And I can't keep a straight face, not silent, no, no. Silences weren't golden and these tears won't flow, oh no. Caged bird sings, I'm crying, caged bird cries, you're lyin, all along you were too little too late, I heard her song, and my guard, was done, too soon. Too little, too late, no no, no more, I loved you too long, no no more, I need you here, please gods make him go. And my caged heart is singing, don't go oh no. I feel like I'm dying in a major way, my heart's broken as the caged bird sings.

Goodbye to you, goodbye to everything that I knew..

roight. On account of Meghna's post I'm kinda copying her. only not everyone in the grade cuz that'd be too many. just the people who deserve it. :D
---------------------
Meghna: wow. you put up with my spastic, emo, psycho moments, and you are still insane, AND WRONG ABOUT IT. hehe. And it's not my fault you're so frail. gawsh. but I intend to get together with you over the summer. so there.
Nina: You have put up with my ranting, my emoness, my stupidity, and even after my encouraging you to pull one of my stupid mistakes, you still were my friend. Now that's loyalty for you. Chin up, and remember, happiness IS
Josh: Wow. Pretty much my only "guy" friend in the entire grade. hung up on one girl, and always a fun guy. Only one willing to give me a hug without being terrfied as a boy. hehehee. You better start coming to soccer sessions next year, fool!
John: not sure what to say here. We started out enemies with no clue who each other were. Still are enemies to a degree, but with a basic truce. And a nice one. yay. or something.
Diaaaannaaaa: NEVA a hoe. no matter what anyone says, if they say it, you hold em, I'll punch em. And you still gotta share those boys, the rest of us want a chance!
Abby(S): Still amazing, despite the nosiness factor, I don't know you as well as I like tho...
Chris: okay..this is gonna be a long one. The first guy to have a mellowness factor with girls I have ONLY seen with one other guy (but he doesn't go to GH), the first guy to really well...not freak out. Yes I care about you. quite a bit. so much it almost hurts (wow I'm getting overly soppy and dramatic) but remember to visit and keep in contact. or (I'M NOT JOKING) I will hunt you DOWN and bring you back to Greenhills. !MOTHER DON'T READ THIS BIT! but I think as much as is possible at this age, I might love you. good thing you don't read this
J'amie: ...as good as it gets between you and me? "asshole", "bitch" insert the perverted jokes and terror of Ms. O here.
Mckenna: Wow. really, you really saved my butt. My buddy (first one anyways) while I visited GH. My fellow predator, my tickilish queen, my FRIEND. YOu are SO gonna come over during the summer. or else. I'm serious. really. honestly. Never forget that despite everything, you are a wonderful person. no more fishing for compliments, you've got no need for that, you are GORGEOUS dearie. CUBAAA!!!
Anna: A to the 4th woot! We are awesome. And if Matt ever comes back I will lock you two alll allooonne. MwhahaaMWHAHAHAHAHHAHAA. Popcorn! Burnt Popcorn! CUCUMBER!
Lizzy: You anti-social girl you!
Katelend: grow up, life flips you crap! NAW, I'm kidding. BUT seriously, awesome person underneath it all.
Xavier: So long thanks for all the fish, too bad it's the apocolypse.. Nice talking. NIce being LOCKER BUDDIES. AHahahaha, all the dumb jokes, and discussions of martial arts and SNIPERS. :P
Aj: You're quite different from the guy I knew back then in SK in 4th grade. I can't explain how exactly we fell out (seeing as my memory is a bit shakey! GAH I'M OLD) but you are still a spaz! Talk to me over the summers, Caracas9375 Screen name, remember? VENEZUELA!!
Emily: Still the same as from SK. Always will be, sweet, with a hint of insanity mixed in.
Maya: Maya, girl, you are not a slut, you are NOTHING that the gossips say. You are sweet as honey, twice as energetic as anyone in the grade, and you are something people should strive to be, no matter what happens, you always have a place on my shoulder to cry on if you need it. And never forget that who you are is changed when you decide, not someone else.
Jeff(P): Pancakes! Shhhh. you were a good group person type in english. you and Ben were always fun to watch. funfunfun. Good times, but I don't know you that well. heh. oh well.
Nick: plenty more fish inna da see *points at Carolyn* go get her boy! GOGOGO!!!!! Mweeheehee, still, funfun. Oh yeah "VIGGY,LAUREN, STOP POKING MY ASS!"
Lauren:Amazing as ever, join us choir freaks! You can still do orchestra toooooo. I <3 you and we are SO hanging out over the summer. And your ribs, DO NOT STICK OUT IT'S UNHEALTHY.
Viggy: beginning of the year attitude is changing, not so chilly and awkward to be around anymore, you live a l'il, you learn a li'l. Don't straighten your hair! it looks good curly/wavy!
-------
Th..th..that's all folks. I can't think of anything to say. really. honestly. no I'm not lying. YES I'M DONE. I'm a sentimental loser aren't I? LIVE WITH IT BITCHES! :D Contact me over the summer, firewing99@yahoo.com. so there.
---Caustic Sarcasm
Broken this fragile thing now, and I can't, I can't pick up the pieces, I've thrown my words all around, but I can't, I can't get up when you're gone. I feel so broken (so broken up) and I give up (I give up) just wanted to tell you so you know, here I go, scream my lungs out, and try to get to you, you are my only one, I let go, there's just no one who gets me like you do, you are my only, my only one. Made my mistakes let you down. And I can't, I can't go on for too long, ran my whole life in the ground, and I can't, I can't keep up when you're down. I feel so broken up (so broken up) and I give up (I give up) just wanted to tell you so you know, here I go, scream my lungs out, and try to get to you, you are my only, my only one.

Neutral zone, not so neutral..

SO..so...Sean Masters Djed (as usual) very amusing games. Umm..Me and 'Kenna played pool against Josh and Xavier and we woulda won, we were like...down to the 8 ball and the white one. But we didn't. Twas vary sad. Occasionally I went out to dance (in my "scandalous" outfit that a lot of the girls complimented). Ehm. Never fast-danced with anyone. Joked around with Josh and Marion and Ninabobina. Had ticklewars with 'Kenna after she lost in foozeball to me. THEN me and Nina beat Chris and ...was it Jim or Adam? Anyways, we beat them because I made some amazing one-shots, then me and Chris played each other one on one and we got up till there was one point for us to either win or lose and he won cuz I scored 3 own goals. I LOST TO A FRICKIN BOY! NOOOOOOOO cue the dramatics here please. Naw, I'm kidding, he's pretty good at foozeball. Then I played..who was it? Katelend..Meredith..oh yeah it was 'Kayla. And then there was slowdances. Two of them. Now, let's get something clear folks, I.DO.NOT.LIKE.SLOW.DaNcInG. Because it does the stabby pain in my chest. Because I'm watching all these other people be happy with their boyfriend or girlfriend, or someone they like, and I never get asked. And I never have the guts to ask the dude I like. And then 'Kenna ran off and asked him to dance with me, so we thought he might, then it looked like he was heading towards Dorothea to ask her, so 'Kenna looked really mad, so I kinda...ran off towards the pool table to compose myself and just watch the game, headed back, bumped into said crush. Said crush asks me for a dance. I asked him if 'Kenna had put him up to it, and he said no. I think he was trying to be nice, but he is a REALLY bad liar. But a cute one XD. I just found it a li'l bit odd he danced with me instead of the chick he likes and has asked out. Bah. Thanks 'Kenna! And Meghna? Thou art WRONG, I'll explain online if I get the time. So there. Not much more to say I guess.
P.S. Love is way overrated. Everyone thinks crushes are a good thing? NEWS FLASH THEY ARE NOT.
---Caustic Sarcasm
So I said what's the problem baby? What's the problem I dunno, well, maybe I'm in love (love) think about it, every time I think about it, can't stop thinking 'bout. So I said I'm snowball running. Running down from this spring that's counting on this love, melting under blue skies, belching out sunlight-shimmering love. Well baby I sure entered to the strawberry ice-cream never,ever,ever on this love. Well Didn't meant it to you, but there's not escaping this love. Aw, these lines of lightning need will never alone,never alone, nono, come on come on, turn a little faster come on come on, JUMP a little higher. Come on come on, once upon a time we were in love. In love. accidentally, I'm in love, I'm in love, I'm in love I'm in love I'm in love I'm, accidentally in love..

Like the ocean under the moon..

Wow. It's now the last day of school. Over, done, etc. Lets review shall we?
Civics: INSANE. Mr jones was like "This is your last crack at it" and Jordyn looks up and is like "crack?" to which there is LONG silence. And then later something happened I forget what but Jordyn again was like "holy cow" and then the class progressed with silliness.
Spanish:Spent the ENTIRE time folding paper cranes and talking to Meredith. And Joe Silveira. Which was vaguely amusing and weird.
Science: Ms. Gleason was all grumpy in the beginning cuz some LOSERS have been trashing her room. But then she was all sad. And then while we were in the fishbowl, Chris, J'amie, and Nick walked by outside, and J'amie pointed and laughed so I made a generally rude gesture indicating flipping the bird. Because J'amie is just the type of person to understand that.
Math: Oh gods. That was INSANE. Everyone was insanely nuts, and stuff. And I talked to people. And glared at John. had a li'l glaring contest. So there. And Katelend wouldn't stop crying until after English. AND Lauren, Taylor, and Sara wouldn't (or couldn't) stop laughing.
Advisory lunch: general silliness with sadness and hugs.
English: INSANE. Paper Airplane throwing, weird looks from Adam, talking about really thick books I've read with Chris cuz Ms. Beal or someone came in to give Ms. Ficks a book that was HUGE to sign and then Chris was like 5 minutes after me, saying that he "had read thicker ones" so I started guessing and he said no to all of them. I MUST KNOW WHAT IT WAS XD.
Dance: i brought in Santana cd Supernatural. IT WAS AWESOME. I swear, if someone requests smooth to dance to I will be the happiest child ALIVE. Despite not getting danced with. BUT me and Katie Meringue danced. Which means stepping small steps forward and backwards with LOTS of hip movement. I think I got some looks. :P
Orchestra: BOOORIING Just sat and did theory.
After school:orthadonture. we all hate it. YOU HATE IT YOU FOOLS YOU HATE IT.
WAY after school: Me:"Jadams you leaving Greenhills ever?" John: "probably" Me: "When?" John: "I DON'T KNOW" Me: "...asshole" thus ends our evercontinous war. And Meghna YOU ARE WRONG WIPE THAT SMIRK OFF YOUR FACE FOOL!
--Caustic Sarcasm
oh Maria Maria
She fell in love in East L.A.
To the sounds of the guitar, yeah, yeah
Played by Carlos Santana


Stop the looting, stop the shooting
Pick pocking on the corner
See as the rich is getting richer
The poorer is getting poorer


See mi y Maria on the corner
Thinking of ways to make it better
In my mailbox there's an eviction letter
Somebody just said see you later


Ahora vengo mama chula mama chula
Ahora vengo mama chula (east coast)

meh

One step closer to being freshmen. And a huge part of me is going YEEEEEES I GET TO GET AWAY FROM EVERYTHING. The rest..well I've expressed repeatedly what the rest is saying. Meaning, NO I DON'T WANT TO NEVER SEE HIM AGAIN WAHAHAHA..etc. Yeah. Dance class tomorrow I'm bringing my santana cd Supernatural. I luffers it for dancing. So there. Ehhhmm..Math review sucks but that's to be expected. Short post I know lovelies, but it's all you get for not commenting. ;) oh yeah and Lauren; make him beg for you to come back. Ta all
---Caustic Sarcasm
Get a load of me, get a load of you, walkin' down the street and I hardly know you (hardly know you), it's just like we were meant to be, holding hands with you and we're out at night, got a girlfriend you say it isn't right (isn't ri-hight) and I've got someone waiting too. What's this it's just the beginning, we're already wet, but we're gonna go swimmin. Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you, Why can't I speak, whenever I talk about you, it's inevitable it's a fact that we're gonna get down to it, so tell me, why can't I breathe whenever I think about you.

Eh...que Pasa?

Not much here. We had the last concert of the year band/orchestra. All was good. Except that we messed up on apalachian sunrise and MS. HENDERSON IS GONNA KILL UUSS. Well...me and Nick at any rate. BUT IT WAS NICK'S FAULT! He kept moving his fingers and...okay I'm done. :P But the after thing was fun, I got to see my little buddy! Aka Tema, whose Mr. Cohen's daughter, who always begs piggy-backs offa me. But she had to leave early cuz while chasing me she fell in a puddle. Had fun. Talked to a bunch of people *cough* BOY *cough* *ducks stuff thrown at her by common sense* wow. Did that sound as schizo as I think it did. I honestly can say it was a pretty boring day. Except for Densie& Chris's Sketch. And Ninabobina's, Jadams, Meredith's, and Anna Davis's sketch. That was fun. All of those. They were SO good. But Ben and Emily's took the cake LAAUUREEN you made me get all nervous in math by making me think about it and I forgot my lines and people were staring noohooohooooooo. *cough* now I'm really truly honestly done. Yeah whatever. And this song is dedicated (or the lyrics are) to people trying to reach someone they lurve. Cuz that's how much a romantic I am. BAM BITCHES.
P.S. Should I wear my hair in pigtails tomorrow? BRAIDED pigtails? Cuz I think I might. XD
---Caustic Sarcasm
This time, this place, misused, mistakes. Too long, too late. Who was I to make you wait? Just one chance, just one breath, just in case there's just one left, cuz you know, you know, you know, I love you. I have loved you all along. And I miss you. Far away for far too long. I keep dreaming, you'll be with me and you'll never know, stop breathing if I don't see you anymore. On my knees, I'll ask, last chance for one last dance. Cuz with you, we stand, all of them at your end. I'd give it all to be for us, your anything but I won't give up, cuz you know you know you know, I love you, I have loved you all along. And I miss you. Far away for far too long, I keep dreaming, you'll be with me, and you'll never go. Stop breathing, if I don't see you anymore.

WARNING:EMO POST

This post is all about the wishes, wants, wouldn'ts and feelings of this year. It's mostly directed around the guy I was crushing on and still am. Huzzah. Comment as you like.
------------------------------
-I feel like I'm going to be sick when I'm in the same room as him
-I feel worse if he or I aren't somewhere we could have/should have been and had the chance to see him
-I wish he could have noticed me
-I wish we had no classes together and he was just another obscure figure in my mind.
-I wish he would look at me once the same way I look at him
-I wanted him to ask me to dance or ask me out.
-I wish he acted like J'amie so I didn't get along with him
-I wouldn't want that because he's nice as people go, and ...sweet
-I wish I could have just gotten over him in December or November
-I wish he was coming back next year
-I feel glad he's not because I won't have a constant ache in my chest
-I wouldn't want him to leave because that ache will be worse next year
-I wish that a hot italian guy would come into our grade next year. With a decent brain outside his groin.
-I posted that one just to annoy you guys
-I wouldn't have dreamed things would turn out so wrong.
-I wish that someone would notice me as something more than a friend whose short and emo sometimes
-I wish I had better control over my temper
-I wish the past few months had been what the entire year was like
-I wish I was at my old school so I could've had my old friends with me, and things didn't have to of changed
-I feel it's good I left because they changed and I did too
-I almost wish I didn't change
-I wish I had the guts to tell him, every day, instead of just looking away and sighing
-I wish he wouldn't fucking LEAVE
-I wish my mom and dad trusted me with my emotions
-I know they won't because I'm a teenager and they worry about me because they love me
-I wish that I wasn't a freak
-I feel like it's a good thing to stand out, live with it
-This post is too long. bye
----Caustic Sarcasm
Let's go back, back to the beginning , back to when the earth the sun the stars all aligned, cuz perfect, didn't feel so perfect, trying to fit a square into a circle, was no lie, I defined, I, let the rain fall down and wake my dreams, let it wash away my sanity, cuz I wanna hear the thunder I want to scream, let the rain fall down I'm coming clean. I'm shedding. Shedding every color, trying to find a pigment that only makes me, who I am, let the rain fall down and wake my dreams let it wash away my sanity cuz I wanna hear the thunder I want to scream, let the rain fall down, I'm coming clean

What does one do when life...

is YOUR BITCH for one day. Okay today...fast forward to lunch. Cuz that was damn fun. So I go and sit by Ninabobina who moves seats (either to avoid Jordyn or sit with Josh XD) and then I'm up against the pillar (wow that sounded disgusting) in the corner of the table, Xavier sits next to me, Jordyn next to him, and across from us Chris is made to sit down by Jim, Ben, and Jeff so Andrew can't sit down. Very amusing. Proceed through lunch with perverted jokes, stealing food, cake, and random acts of violence. End Lunch. Go to english. In English Lauren and I are partners, and We have NO IDEA WHAT TO DO to exaggerate our characters cuz they are as boring as one gets. Meanwhile, Chris and Denise sit there and laugh/smirk at us, and then Ms Ebeling came on in and corrected us and showed us how to exaggerate, and Lauren pronounced guileless as guileness. Teehee. Fast forward to after school. Proceed out to the sixth grade end, and play soccer with sixth graders (who say eighth graders can't play soccer) get Josh, Marion, Nick, Meredith, Katy, and Mikayla to join in. FUN! And John later on. Gr. But it was fun. And then some highschoolers came out, and then more highschoolers, and then the asg lady said I couldn't play cuz it was just me, Kyle, and a TON of freshies, and one sophmore. And she was afraid if I took the ball away from them I would get "hurt" because I hurt the boys egos. Nevermind the fact that her own daughter plays soccer, and I can and will frequently level people in my way. So I called up my mom which was amusing cuz I could hear her trying not to laugh. Mwhaha. Um then me and Jackie invaded the lacrosse BBQ cuz none of the highschoolers passed, and we hung out, and ate, and I poured water on Jordyn like 6 times. Or more. And then he threatened me and I threatened back. FUNFUN. So then around the end it was pretty much Me, Lauren, and Diaaanaa, and we were hanging out and making bored or comments that were boy-related cuz SOMEONE kept staring at Lauren. Bah, he is a LOSER. L-O-S-E-R mwhah*cough* *ducks thwaps* Um.umum...and then while we were in the forum, Lauren gained, not only quotes, but a new phrase. Apparently she is now "doctor love". It really is a miracle we haven't been killed by Adam yet and hidden in a dark corner. I walked with Lauren halfway past the highschool end, went back up really fast after my mom called up to the middleschool end and hid in a tree. The end. Oh yes, and this music quote is dedicated to the girls who couldn't say what they knew they should or could to that special someone.
----Caustic Sarcasm
I'm tugging at my hair, I'm pulling at my clothes, I'm trying to keep my cool, I know it shows, I'm staring at my feet, my cheeks are turning red, I'm searching for the words inside my head, I'm feeling nervous, trying to be so perfect, cuz I know you're worth it. You're worth it yeah. I can say what I wanna say, I say I wanna blow you away be with you every night, am I squeezing you tonight, yes I'm wishing my life away, with these things I'll never say. What is wrong, with my tongue, these words keep slipping away, I stumble, I stutter, and I've got nothing to say, cuz I'm feeling nervous trying to be so perfect, cuz I know you're worth it, you're worth it yeah.

Damn Regret!

Mm. See the title? Don't you guys just love me being cheerful. I love being cheerful too. Especially when it means I can use 'kenna as a pillow and have tickle fights. despite having fleas all over (cuz of my cats and they had this flea stuff but it didn't work and now the fleas are taking over and I've already killed one of the little bastards and WILL DESTROY THEM ALL WITH MY CALCULATOR) *cough* ummmm. I'm a li'l bit annoyed cuz I am STILL BLOCKED AND HAVE NO IDEA WHY! NO REASON GIVEN JUST...BAM! And I don't like that at all. Hahaha Lauren, our skit in english is soooooo crappy. JOOSH! SMOSSSH!!!! That talk after school was good. It was a sleepy sorta day. But it was still fun, despite the ASG lady yelling about the tree thing. Evil asg lady. EVIL I TELLS YA. Does anyone know if the concert next week is band/orchestra or just orchestra?
-----Caustic Sarcasm
There you go, you're always so right, it's all a big show, it's all about you, you think you know, what everyone needs, you always take time to criticize me, it seems like every day, I make mistakes, I just can't get it right, it's like, I'm the one, you love to hate, but not today. So Shut UP Shut up Shut up, don't wanna hear it, get out, get out get out, get out of my way, step up step up step up, you'll never stop me, nothing you say today is gonna bring me down! You never ask why, it's all a big why, whatever you do, you think you're special, but I know, and I know, and we know that you're not, you're always there to point out my mistakes and shove them in my face, it's like I'm the one who loves to hate, but not today!

AMOEBAS!

So so so...lets see what all happened.ME AND 'Kenna had a TICKLE FIGHT! SO fun. and we were like "nick you have five seconds to run fivefourthreetwo" and he took off really fast and we almost caught him but 'kenna stopped and we went back to doing that. And this is where things get less interesting. Go home. Be a maniac. Surf internet. TALK TO NINABOBINA and joshepü (josh mostly about soccer and WHY DID HE HAVE TO INVITE JOHN GRRR) and nina about hot guys. And friends. And evil dance class. EVIL I TELL YOU! EHHEVIIILLLLLL *cough* ummmm not much more to say. GUMMI BEARS ARE EATING MY BRAIN! CUZ THAT'S JUST HOW DAMN HYPER I AM!
---Caustic Sarcasm
I know a girl, whose obsessed with this guy, she'll call for hours, and still he hangs, and when he finally picks up and tells her to leave. At six in the morning she waits at the door, tells her to leave but, still she follows, the next morning she'll be there again, she won't let go. Can't you just go somewhere on vacation, I would book your flight and pack your bags if you want, a one way ticket outta my life, watching you fly away, I NEVER LIKED YOU! I NEVER WANTED YOU!

hee

Karate is awesome. Have I ever said that? I don't believe I will, so...okay, my sensei is the head of the dojo. But he is INCREDIBLY awesome, we're allowed to talk in the classes, I'm allowed to see the swords he buys, AND DRAW THEM FROM THE SHEATHE, more then my family let me do. :D. The people in my class are incredibly hilarious and fun to hang out with (with the exception of one of them but I'll live) and the style I'm doing is incredibly wonderfully AWESOME. Not only is this style of karate only once a week, and different from the kind normally taught (goju-ryu or goju-style) and it's motto is "apply hard to soft, soft to hard" meaning someone throws a punch, block it and respond, someone grabs, throw a punch etc. It's frickin awesome. Did I mention THAT MY TUESDAY KARATE CLASS IS FUCKIN AWESOME! Not much more to say. TWO MORE WEEKS AND I AM FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE*coughwheeze* *DIE* I have nothing more to say. NINER NINER!!
---Caustic Sarcasm
Breathe in for luck, breathe in so deep, this air is blessed, you share with me, this night is wild, so calm and dull, these hearts they race, from soft control, your lips are smooth as they graze mine, we're doing, we're doing nothing at, all. My hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me, so won't you kill me, so I die happy. My heart is yours to fill or burst, to break or bury, or wear as jewelery whichever you prefer. The words are, hush, lets not get busted. Just layin' twined here, undiscovered, safe here from all those stupid questions, hey did you get some? Man that is so dumb, stay quiet stay near stay crystal, can't hear. So we can get some. My hopes are so high your kiss might kill me, so won't you kill me, so I die happy, my heart is yours to fill or burst, to break or bury, or wear as jewelery whichever you prefer..

Yeah. whatever

Today was mostly good. my laptop got fixed by both me and daddy, though mostly daddy, little bit down in the dumps, but whatever, since I'm pretty sure ya'll are sick of my whining. And since no one listened to the last post at all, or I would bet a large amount of money they did if it wasn't Nina, I'll just drop that subject too.
On a completely different note, has anyone ever felt like they have this huge THING inside of them, and every time it rears it's ugly head we feel horrible? Yeah, for me, that thing's my temper. I've seen it before, I've seen that part of me before, and it's ugly as hell, and terrifies me. I've been painted the monster before because I couldn't keep in control, and I don't want it to happen again, not now, not ever, not even if it could save my life. I refuse to be a monster to people, and be called a bully by my own friends. And if you stupid people, or you people who care too much about someone as nutsy as me, think I need therapy, or anger management I DO NOT. I will NOT do any kinds of therapy. I intend to do this on my own. So whatever. I'm sure you people have better things to do then listen to insufferable whineiness so go have a nice day. Play outside while it's a good tempature before all the 'squiteers (mosquitos) come out.
----Caustic Sarcasm
Something has been taken, from deep inside of me, a secret I've kept locked away, no one can ever see. Wounds so deep they never close, they never go away, like moving pictures in my head for years and years they've played. (If I could change I would, take up the pain I would, retrace every wrong move that I made I would, if I could stand up and take the blame I would, If I could take all my shame to the grave I would) It's easier to run, replacing this pain with all numb, it's so much easier to run, replacing all this pain. Just washing it aside, all of the helplessness inside, pretending I don't feel this way, it's so much easier then change. It's easier to run, replacing this pain with something numb, it's so much easier to run, then face all this pain, you're all alone.

ENOUGH WITH THE FREAKIN D-R-A-M-A

Gods teeth and toenails, LISTEN TO YOURSELVES. Everyone is in a fucking huge ROILING mess of rumors, and lies, and whatever else THEY HAVE HEARD. But isn't it enough? Hell's Bells, do you people ever actually stop and LISTEN to what you are saying. You guys are going after your friends, and everyone has at least said once "What are you blaming me for I only HEARD this." I mean seriously people! Everyone is biting someone's head off but it's fucking well ENOUGH. Look, there are rumors, and lies, and all sorts of nasty shit going down, and that is goddamn well enough. We aren't in 4th grade anymore, we're up in the bigger leagues, and we need to sort this out. This isn't directed at one or two people. It's everyone. Everyone is taking sides, and fighting, and in general being bitches. Including myself when I get like that. Everyone wants to defend their friend, but seriously people turn an eye inward! "Let he without sin cast the first stone" christ on a crutch. You guys are all saying "I've heard from "people" that you said this about me" Well if they've said NO WE HAVE NOT SAID THAT. Give them the benefit of the doubt. Or if you've been saying something goddamn well admit it. Don't go after each other like a pack of frickin animals! We accuse the guys of acting like this, and then we act like..like I don't know what, a pack of lions going in for the kill on someone they're driving out. Just...chill and let's sort this out instead of going after each. Just...relax.
---Caustic Sarcasm
So typically so typically stars set back and perfectly dropped off learning so perfectly tonight. I am she does you are she was and that's because and that's because, but you never tried, but you never tried, take me out back stich my ripped knees, take them out back stitch em tight and I've got too many times. I'm selfish as selfish comes, you're giving me a run, for my money. Honey.

Be afraid...veryvery afraid

As of yet I am armed and fabulous for graduation! I actually have a dress (yes Nina before you start mocking me I have a frickin dress and I like it, so there) and I have hiigh heels. Not as high as the boots I wore, but they aren't chunky either. According to my motherdearest I look very grownup. For once in my life. heh. I'm going to party later tonight so instead of staying up and getting bloodshot eyes at 11:30 like usual I'm gonna be up in ann arbor getting (no doubt) tackle-hugged by old and crazy friends. Moreso then I do at GH at any rate. Heh, seriously, half the time I feel like I've matured alot from last year, and some of that's a good thing, but I miss being able to be crazy all the time and getting hugs. Wah.
---Caustic Sarcasm
Beating hearts baby, baby is this love for real let me in your arms to feel, beating hearts baby, beating of your heart baby, yo, you want nothing to do with me, you, you want nothing to do with me, and I, I dunno to do with you, cuz you, you don't know what you do to me, and you, you don't know what you do to me. Baby is this love for real, let me in your arms to feel, the beating of your heart baby, the beating of your heart baby. And you, you don't know me

Whoa man..trippeee

I think it's finally sinking in that I've gotten at least a few skeletons out of that particular proverbial closet. Heh. Which was always nice. I really appreciate everyone who commented, and special thanks to Lauren and Maya for not ousting me. Just like..a li'l bit scary after it finally took about that. Ehm...not much to say today, I mean, I think I scared my mom a little at how agressive my last post was, and it's my way of venting. Honestly I prefer this way cuz I actually have control, and it doesn't do anyone harm to vent it. Makes me happyyy. Hohum..not much more to say other then that. hee. I wish I could go to the lacrosse tournament tomorrow but I can't. And I'm going to an old friends party. I GET TO SEE EVERYONE AGAIN WOOOO! *cough* no 'ffense ya'll but I reallllly miss everybody...wonder if Peter'll be there. or Russell..hee.
---Caustic Sarcasm
Man it's a hot one, like seven inches from the midday sun. Well I hear you whisper the words that melt everyone, but you stay so cool. My manaquita. My spanish hollowed mona lisa. You know my reason for reason, is stepping in my groove. Yeah, and if you said this life ain't good enough, I'd give my world to lift you up I could change my life to better suit your mood, cuz you're so smooth. And it's just like the ocean under the moon, it's the same as the emotion that I get from you, you got the kinda loving you can be so smooth, give me your heart and make it real or else forget about it.

Heels over head...

I can't really say I get along with people. In fact a majority of the time I will push my friends to be pissed off at something rather stupid I've done. I would however like to explain something to you, this won't take long, it's just a few things you should goddamn well KNOW before you start biting my frickin head off.
WHAT YOU WILL NEED TO KNOW
----------------------
-I am not an optimist. I am a pessimist, this means a majority of the time I'll look at the BAD things in a situation. So before you try to change that bit of me stop. Cease. Desist. YOU WILL FAIL.
-My grandma died a couple years ago, she is dead, it has effected my life, and my entire personality, this does have a tendancy to make me vaguely morbid, so before you start rambling at me about how I don't know anything about death, shut up. I know more than you think I do.
-I am bisexual. This means I am attracted to both males and females. It does not mean I go "look hot girl/dude I will ogle them now" this does not mean I appreciate you fuckin homophobes, and not for my own reasons, but because I have several friends that are bi. I defend my friends for the homosexuals and bisexuals and yes the hetero losers too. That doesn't mean I'm going to check out every girl in the locker room, nor does it change who or what I am.
-I am a bitchy child. I do not take shit from people, nor do I appreciate stupid jokes or rumors, if you have a problem with this, go fuck yourself till you bleed, cuz I have no patience for stupid people.
-If you intend to approach me on a subject, ask the damn question, don't beat around the bush, be blunt, be obvious, subtlety is lost upon a thick girl such as me.
-I am in love with a boy, I do not appreciate this seeing as I am freakin well 14 or so. This does not make me stupid, this does not mean my common sense is lost, it just means my self-esteem will go down a bit lower.
-I AM NOT in need of therapy, I will not talk to a stupid shrink who thinks that they can tell whatever to my parents or something. I refuse. I know my mother reads this, that is why I post this.
-I do not hate people. I do not hate them, because hate crimes are enough in this world, that one person hating less is a goood thing. Dislike intensely, sure, insult, definitely, never hate.
------
Now wasn't that educational, as to a few people I've lied to about being bi, I'm sorry, but at that specific point I was fucking sick of the rumors, and homophobes in our grade. If you have a problem with love, or interest in both genders, too bad. It exists, it's the way those of us who are not hetero are wired. WE. CANNOT. CHANGE. IT. Again, got a problem with it, go fuck yourself, because there is nothing wrong with me to admit to being who or what I am. This is a very pissed off post. Deal with it, because I am putting out the facts and am DONE WITH LYING.
-----Caustic Sarcasm
I hate you, I love you, I just can't, remember to forget you, who are you, who needs you, you make me feel alive, I die, so high, I'm crawling on the ground, and I've found I can fly. One of these days it all comes together, one of those days that goes on forever, think i sound crazy, maybe whatever.

One day, two day, three day.....

Third day of the week, and not much happening but the heartbreak spring always seems to bring for everyone. It's almost the end of the year, and I want, oh so badly, for someone *cough* BOY *coughhackwheeze* to not leave, and stay for highschool. But whatever, I'm NOT even going into THAT again. Not much happened today, español class we watched pan's labyrinth which was s'pposed to be creepy, but the only creepy part was a dude getting his face smashed in with a bottle. ANGER MANAGEMENT YOU DAMN FACISTS!!! >.<. Ehmehm......messed up both pots I threw, so they're off-center pieces of shit. -.-'. Not much more to say then heartbreak frickin SUCKS DAMMIT. And screw you people who'd make a sarcastic, or "witty" or whatever comment here. so there.
-----Caustic Sarcasm
Don't you wanna go for a ride, just keep your hands inside, and make the most outta life, now don't you take it for granted. Life is like a mean machine made a mess outta me like an angry dream I was stranded. I was strandeheed. And I'm steady but I'm starting to shake, and I don't know how much more I can take, well this is it now, everybody get down, this is all I can take, this is how a heart breaks, you take a hit now, you feel it break down, make her stay, wide awake, this is how a heart breaks. Don't you wanna go for a ride, down to the other side, feels so good you can cry now won't you do what I told you. I remember when you used to be shy and once we were so fine, and why you gotta make it so hard on me. Yeah it's hard on me. And I'm running but you're getting away, well this is it now everybody get down, this is all I can take, this is how a heart breaks.

BAM BITCHES!

That is my phrase of the week, in case you haven't noticed, BAM BITCHES. Ehm, today today...not much interesting happened today. Except we WON OUR LAST GAME OF TEH SEASON. Teehee. It makes me happpyyyyyyy. Cuz I scored the first goal. And in lacrosse in gym I shoved Kyle over and finally got Max to stop trying to hit me while I was marking him cuz right after shoving Kyle over with my shoulder I glared at Max while he tried to hit me and told him to stop or I'd respond in a more vicious way and he sneered but backed off. BAM BITCHES. Wow I gotta stop saying that. Heeheehee. I interrupted a snogfest. SNOG! AHAHAH! Maya, are you texting your snooooog budddy! EEEHEEEHEEE---the laughter being Maya. Ha, and I think I've finally pushed Kyle to be more annoying. joy. I wondered if it was possible, jeesus, you think he'd get that NEWS FLASH PEOPLE DO NOT LIKE SOME OF THE SHIT HE DOES! If he actually wasn't annoying I wouldn't be bitchy, but he'd probably have to do something like jump in rapids to not be annooying. Yesterday what I didn't post..ehmm Betsy Ellsworth's twins swarmed me while I was waiting for the lacrosse game to start and tried to put an ice pack on the back of my neck, and I was outrunning them and then they clambered all over. For five year olds they are faast li'l munchkins. Funfun, and I watched the lacrosse team (middle school) score repeatedly (4 times) and then I left. and they lost. ha.Ho hum. I'm done babbling now, loookie and my music quote. and comment cuz I love ya'll.
-----Caustic Sarcasm
It's too late baby, there's no turning around, I've got my hands in my pocket and my head in a cloud, This is how I do, When I think about you, I never thought that you could break me apart, I'll just take a deep breath and I'll look in your eyes, This is how I feel, And it's so surreal, I got a closet filled up to the brim, With the ghosts of my past and the skeletons, And I don't know why, You'd even try, But I won't lie

Drama with the drama and the MORE FRICKIN DRAMA!

Mm. Everything's pretty much good right now. I'm not getting a boyfriend, evah, so I'm living with the fact. Ehm. I'm happy for Nina and Josh so BAM BITCHES! You don't like it then to fuckin bad! They're my friends and I f..okay I'm done. But seriously people, be happy that someone's lovelife is friggin well working out for someone! Jaysus! Mckenna, I'm not sure how she's doin right now. Lotta my other friends are okay. Most of my guyfriends (meaning aside from the single one I have a GH the sk ones) are off for a week in trips to places like Las Vegas, or Sleeping Bear Dunes. All that fun shit. I'm almost wishing I could be there, but honestly, everyone's split from the original group there, so it wouldn't be all that fun. Bah. Eh, I can't say much more than that, I'm content despite the solid ache around my heart, and I'm hoping everyone else is. Ta ta dahlings. Comment if you luffers me or agree with some point here!
----Caustic Sarcasm
I gotta be honest, I think you know, we're covered in lies and that's okay, at least somewhere beyond this, I know, I hope I can find the words to say, anyway, never again, no no, no never again, cuz you're a god, and I am not, and I just thought that you would know. You're a god, oh when I am not, and I just thought I'd let you go. It's under the table, so, I'm learning things I oughta know by now...

Angsttttttttttttt

Wow. That was alot of ranting and moping last post. Don't I feel all genius-y. Teehee. NOT!!! Hohum...not much happened today, woke up way to early with weird dreams, napped for a while with a kitty kneading through my pants with his claws -.-'. Ehmm...talked to Ninabobina and Marion alot last night. Mostly about the last post's angst and stuff, I think I just needed to bleed it off for one night instead of bottling it all up. Ah well, can't say I do much more then whine mostly. Not really having much more to say. The night isn't that young, but have a good year, and a good life. Ack, now I'm getting sentimental, next thing ya know I'll be yelling in a cranky voice about you "damn kids getting off my lawn" wheee.
----Caustic Sarcasm
This is a hint that you take, And you pull and you find a way to get out of what you got yourself into, But when you try, But when you try to get out you’ll never find ,That most definitely I will be attracted to you, If you pick my left side, Because you know how we do, I’m selfish as selfish as comes, You’re giving me a run for my money
Honey

Crash and burn

Before I says anything, ANYTHING, MOTHER OF MINE DO NOT READ THIS.
----ahem
I guess I'm kinda down in teh dumps right now. I'm a little confused, hellueva annoyed, and sad. Now, some of you may know who I like, in fact most of you probably do. But HE, yes he, despite the fact that I defend homosexuals, you homophobes you, that doesn't mean I am a homosexual, anyways, HE is leaving next year. Chao, adios, all the way away from greenhills, he ain't coming back. Not now, not ever after this year. People can call me a loser and alot of times, it's true for some things, no this isn't my self esteem speaking from it's vantage point of under a boot, it's me. Loser girl who gave her shredded up little bitty selfish heart to a guy who doesn't even give a damn, tho he gets points for being nicer about it then most people. At any rate, I'm really kinda sad right now just cuz of this all, and am fairly confused at where I'm at in life. I'll live, I always do, I'm just not sure that next year I'm going to have all of me with me. Dramatic as this sounds (and I am the queen of drama) I'm going to have a hole where my heart is, cuz this boy somehow managed to steal that pathetic thing known as my heart. Joy to the bloody whiney world. BAM! Gratzi to those who put up with my insufferable whining day in and day out.
EDIT: Post if you love me, or at least managed to read through this insufferable whineyness
------Caustic Sarcasm
Broken this fragile thing now, and I can't, I can't pick up the pieces, and I've thrown my words all around, but I can't, I can't give you a reason. I feel so broken up (so broken up), and I give up, (I give up), I just wanna tell you so you know, here I go, scream my lungs out, and try to get to you, you are my only one, I let go, there's just no one, who gets me like you do, you are my only, my only one. Made my mistakes let you down, and I can't, I can't hold on for too long, ran my whole life in the ground, and I can't, I can't get up when you're gone, somethings breaking up (breaking up), I feel like giving up (like giving up), I won't walk out until you know..

I Scream you SCREAM we all SCREAM FOR ICE CREAM! AIIEEE! XD

MY GOD! I cannot help but feel almost...Idunno NUMB. I have no doubt by the time I go entirely numb I won't cry, laugh, or even taste food..But I'm not for now. The bus ride back made me feel like a loner ALOT but the bus ride on the way was fun. I got clued in alot on the way there. Teehee. "THE BALL KILLED GEORGIE!!" ---Maya But I am in a very good mood now I got ice cream. MWHAHAHAHAHAHA*chokes* ahem. And my ankle is all taped up and in pain.And I HATE YOU ALL EXCEPT NINA AND MCKENNA CUZ YA'LL DON'T COMMENT DAMMIT! ARRRRRRRRGGGH!
-----Caustic Sarcasm
We keep ourselves a mystery, but we provide the clues. So the rest is up to you to get to to the obvious you're so serious so I guess it comes down to whacha got now gone and gone and give it up, whatcha got now, whatcha got now, dramatized and follow it rhymes on my back I may be ugly but they sure like to stare, dramatize things and follow me it rhymes on my back but they sure, but they sure, love to stare.

I want someone provocative and talkative and it's so hard when you're shallow as a shower

Today was fun. Despite in english where Nina and Meredith were decorating my itty bitty paper cranes in flowers. -.-' it was interesting to say the least. And my little brothers bottle rocket got the most height bwhaha. The only thing I'm a little irritated aboot is that the crush o' mine came in halfway through D period (math) and I had been having a good day til then. I'll live, I always do, and HOLY SHIT is it bad weather out there, I hope my mommy and daddy are okay. Yawn. I hope I'm not screwed over on the science test tho..POST POR FAVOR! Two people have posted on my last two posts.
------Caustic Sarcasm
I've got the gift of one-liners, and you've got the curse of curves and with this gift I can pose words, andd the question that comes forward are you pespiring from the irony of these lyrics and this is dead in filled and my wit won't allow it. The inside lingo had me at hello and we go where the money goes, The inside lingo had me at hello, I want someone provocative and talkative and it's so hard when you're shallow as a shower, and from I won't say no, her bone structure screams touch her touch and she's got the curse of curves, so with the gift of my one-liners, and my way, my way with words, it seems I'm hip from too tight-lipped, you're making something out of nothing.

so..tedium continues

Annd the tedium of an unwanted crush. hell I'll live, I'm just whinin' about it. Hmm as a recap of the former day: ran around doing house chores, made my mom white chocolate fool, stayed up till about 12ish finishing up me homework. Bleah. Currently, I have a headache and am being a whiny biotch. Feh. I gotta stop with the angst shit. Come to think of it most people should. SO THERE! And I got Chris Arnett to threaten to kill me today. He stole his big brother's jacket and said if I told anyone he'd kill me and I was gonna go find his brother or Andrew Lee(his brother's friend) and tell them, but I had soccer practice so I couldn't. Evil will have to wait another day XD. Bwhaha...first time I've seen him threaten someone other than J'amie. Hee. Now I'm just all loopy. NO ANGST DAMN YOU ALL IT'S MY TURF! YA'LL ARE S'POSED TO BE HAPPY! So there. I've done my part.
---------Caustic Sarcasm
It's a new day, but it all feels old, it's a good life, that's what I'm told, but everything it all just feels the same. And my highschool, it felt more to me, like a jail cell, a penitentiary, my time spent there it only made me see. That I don't ever wanna be like you, I don't wanna do the things you do, I'm never gonna hear a word you say and I don't ever wanna, I don't ever wanna be you, don't wanna be just like you, oh what I'm sayin' is, this is the anthem, throw all your hands up, you, don't wanna be you.

Sooo, about that dance the other day!

It was..fun. Alot moreso then I thought. I danced with a lot of the 7th grade girls for the fast songs, and we had a lot of fun cuz we made a circle and put people in the middle! For one night in my life I was smexy like Nina or Lauren or Mckenna. Bwhaha. And I got up the guts to ask people to dance. One person danced out of I think pity cuz I was being a whiny bitch. heh. And I asked the other two. One of which being an interest of mine. BAM! Take that Ninabobina, "Interaction is the key part of a relationship" howdya like them apples! :P and I'm still revved up. But I'm sad, cuz I came like an hour and a half late. If my idiotic little brother hadn't chosen to get desert I woulda been at least a little earlier. GRRRRRR. BUT! I had a lot of fun, I got high off sprite, ran off comforting people, and there were very few slow dances and lots of fast ones, and despite "Since U Been Gone" and "Stacy's mom" getting played, they were all hellueva fun. Comment if you love me or liked the dance and hate me anyways! XD
--------Caustic Sarcasm
There's a place off ocean avenue where I used to sit and talk with you. We were both sixteen and it felt so right, sleepin' all day stayin' up all, niiiight. Stayin' up all niight. And there's a place on the corner of cherry street, where we used to go and sit on the beach, we were both eighteen and it felt so right sleeping all day stayin up all, niiight, staying up all, niiight. If I could find you now, things would get better. We could leave this town, and run forever, Let your waves crash down and take me away away away.

Hear that thunking noise? That's my head on the desk...

See, you think everything is fine, and for my normally soap opera and completely chaotic life, it is. Despite some interests being missing from school today. And having tutoring, which SUCKS I might add, why couldn't I of gotten the smart genes dammit! Who the hell am I kidding, everything's fine except my still liking someone who isn't mutual. I'll live, much as I wish they weren't leaving. Ah well, things happen, and hopefully I haven't screwed much more up. I'll live, and what doesn't kill us, makes us stronger.
-------Caustic Sarcasm
I'm having the day from hell, it was all going so well (before you came), and you told me you needed space, with a kiss on the side of my face (not again) and not to mention, the tears I shed, I shoulda kicked your (ass instead), i need intervention, attention to stop temptation to scream, well baby, everything's ffed up straight from the heart tell me what do you do when it all falls apart, gotta pick myself up, when do I start, cuz I can't turn to you when it all falls apart.

One day in hell? that can be swiftly arranged...

See, everything starts out alright. I mean I spent the night at my best friends house (now don't get offended, cuz she is so much to me, and I'm not offending you but she is my best friend) and we had loads of fun despite the awkward silences. But when I get home, okay, I have no problem with cleaning, I'm going to Breakin' Curfew tonight right? The one night a year I get to spend with all my closest friends dancing, moshing, and watching interesting stuff, with joking and the like on the side. Wrong. Without a parent there's no chaperone, with no chaperone, no going for Anna. I'm not trying to guilt people, cuz I KNOW my mom reads this, and all night she's been going "I'm sorry sweetie." but somehow it just makes me frusterated. Sorry is NOT going to fix this night, or year, or everything and anything. It's attempting an apology. I mean, I appreciate how they were trying to be safe and all, but I miss all of them more then anything. I just wanted to..y'know, see them again..I'll live, and people have it worse. I just needed to get this out somewhere.
----Caustic Sarcasm
And I'd give up forever to touch you, cuz I know that you feel me somehow, you're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be and I don't wanna go home right now. And all I can taste is this moment, and all I can breathe is your life, and sooner or later it's over, I just don't wanna miss you tonight. And I don't want the world to see me, cuz I don't think that they'd understand, when everything's made to be broken, I just want you to know who I am.

Lyke OMG.

Grr. dumb boys. dumb evaarything. EXCEPT THAT I AM AT MY BEST FRIENDS HOUSE! BOYAKASHA!!!!!!!! *cough* Anyhoo, turned out I don't have a rolled ankle, just a pulled muscle. Good fun....And WHY DOES NO ONE COMMENT! EVER! DO YOU NOT LOOOOVE MEEEEEEEEEE!!!! Ehehe...me crazy.
-------Caustic Sarcasm
Get a load of me, get a load of you, walking down the street and I hardly know you. It's just like we were meant to be. Here we are we're at the beginning we haven't fucked yet, but our heads are spinning. Why can't I breathe, whenever I think about you, why can't I speak, whenever I talk about you, and why can't I breathe whenever I think about you?

GOOD DAY

I had a day that started out spectacularily bad, but turned better and better. I scored a goal in soccer, I got along with Ms. Gleason, but not my soccer coach >.> <.<, I apologized at least one of the lacrosse players I poked at, so my conscience isn't nagging me anymore. I'm in a good mood. Despite my good ankle or what was being swelled up. Heh...But am enjoying day except tons of hw.
---Caustic Sarcasm
You wanna know more, more, more about me. I'm the girl who was kicking the coke machine, I'm the one that's honkin' at you cuz I left late again...HEY! HEY! HEY! Could you see I want you by the way I push you away, yeah, don't judge me no morrow by the way I'm acting take the words with the actions, do with all your reactions yeah, HEY, HEY, get tangled up in me.

heh..the joys of being sick -.-

I was sick. All day, meaning I got plagued by nasuea, dizziness, and vague creepy irritating dreams when I managed to sleep. And overheating, lots of that.But other than that just mostly daydreaming, occasional vegetating, and with the right intentions hw. But this science stuff is killing me cuz I don't know how to describe how in the name o' the gods the stupid lemon battery works in my "own words" grrr. Dumb assignment, I did this in 4th grade why do it again ARRGGGHHH!!!!
------Caustic Sarcasm
I am extroradinary, if you'd ever get to know me, I am extroardinary, I am just you're ordinary average every day sane psycho, supergoddess, average everyday sane psycho. So dig a little deeper, cuz, you still don't get it yet, see me naked my mind, needs a prim and a fix, and I'll make, I'll make you love me. (I'm aware this song is stalkerish, I just like it, highschool musical fans eat your heart out!)

hallo...

So..early. And I feel like shit. literally, because I ate pizza last night and it made my tummy upset and is still upset. Wah. And this is a short post cuz it's so early. and I really need to stop using and at the beginning of sentances, and post more often. Le sigh.
EDIT: and I really hate today. I got pulled into Science shit cuz Ms Gleason was being irritating, I get she's upset, but other people have...whatever. And I had a math test which sucked as much as usual, and for all I know I've sucessfully made the lacrosse team hate me by being a bitch because I had a bad day. Being the person I am, I take it out on other people, seeing as they were available..whatever. And am also very confused, and grumpy, and I want more sugary stuff and less homework. And a life. one of those'd do me juuust fine.
--------Caustic Sarcasm
Can you help me unravel my latest mistake. I don't love him, winter just wasn't my season. Yeah we walked through the door, so accusing, their eyes, like have any right at all to criticize. Hypocrites they're all here for the very same reason. Life's like an hourglass glued to the table, no one can find the rewind button girl, and cradle your head in your hands, and breathe, just breathe, oh breathe, just breathe. Wanna hold him maybe I'll just think about it.

Wow..

this is so messed up. Feh, dumb compy >.>. And heads up for those who hate my ranting, see the next larrrge spot and skip it until you see a line like the one under this.
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This is so messed up. What is wrong with civilization? You can always rely on people gushing on. and on. AND ON. when it comes to that someone. Either that or they clam up. But again, what's with girls going i am not wooorrthyy or saying OMG Were soo gunna go out! I <3 him ayada...yada...YADA. News flash, no guy is gonna come along on a white horse treat us with respect and love, and joking, unless you're either a) one of the lucky few who've been married/dating awhile b) another lucky one whose going out with someone or soon to. See the thing is, while it's all good and dandy for you people, the rest of us, who don't, who're seen as weird, or constantly beat on ourselves? Yeah, we DON'T get the guy. we DON'T get a happy ever after. And while I'm incredibly happy for my friends who end up doing well for themselves...well at least save a couple of us the gushing for like five seconds. I respect your want to have a boyfriend/girlfriend, but what about us un's who have no mutual crushes. Just one...embaressing one. But go about your normal lives. Cuz I'm just a crazy ranty girl. ^^
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So besides that, my blog was screwed up. For a looong while. (Aka all of today), so I'm a little annnoyed. And mostly with myself. See while in soccer the other day we lost (2-0) and while playing I killed my ankle. So is now swelled up. Hugely so, and turning interesting colors. And also explain to me how the hell I can get pushed out of my own bed, by a small furry animal known as cats. HOW? I woke up several times with my cat spread out across my pillow, and me hugged up against the railing/wall. Someone explain the phsyics of this cuz it's not making sense to me
-------Caustic Sarcasm
It's time to say a word, say it like you mean it. He spoke with his song of hearts, as my eyes hold back, hoping for an end, One too many condescending battles for a friend. I'll try to stay awake when I go when i get home I'll try to stay awake over the phone so I can tell the truth tell the truth..

Moments of the week...or day..or...or...LOOK WHATS THAT A DISTRACTION!

Long title I know, heh...And awhile since I posted. The last one was just kind of provoked explosion after a long..month/week of holding everything in and keeping myself mostly in check. And then I spent a day in silence after losing a bet. -.-. First time for everything, and I had a quarter riding on that one. *Sigh*. Pity us broke people! Anyhoo, if I can go, lacrosse game should be at least vaguely amusing. Seeing as I have no idea how lacrosse works except for what I pried out of Arnettt in gettysburg when Sahar wanted to switch seats to watch mean girls. So....all I know is it's some soccer and some football. With rugby mixed in. And there is sticks and violence involved. Huzzah, now if only it wasn't the same time as soccer practice...heh, anyways, wish me luck for tomorrow I play soccer with our little team! My first time playing with gh...I miss the godaiko allstars. We were so together...*sniffle* ah well can't have everything! Gnehehe...
-----Caustic Sarcasm
My eyes, can't believe what they have seen, in the corner of your room you've stock-piled millions of my memories. O Doctor doctor, I must have gotten sick somehow, I'm going to ask you a series of questions and I want them answered on the spot right now...Is it serious? I'm afraid it is. Am I gonna die? Well son, death is gonna catch up to all one day, you're just going quicker then always, some things will need a breaking to taking and here's what I'm saying, hold your heads high heavy hearts, so take a chance and make it big cuz it's the last you'll ever get, and we'll take it, when will we make it. I make plans, big plans, cuz I've been planning something big, planning...

Crazed day

day starts out good. gets worse rapidly. Being the blunt person I am, and having no finesse I use the blunt questions. And I usually listen to people if they need to bitch. Now before i start getting objects or shit flung at me, understand this much people, I listen. I don't share. I don't care if you see it some other way, that's the way it works. Whether you think so, or if something went bad cuz you took my advice kay. Currently, I've taken enough shit for a lifetime. (and i'm aware I'm swearing too much big deal) from other people, and the rest of the current population oh yeah and kinda my entire messed-up little head. So if you have a problem with me, talk to my face, not rant, TALK, speak, listen. You have a problem with me, you deal with it. You have a problem in your own life, sorry I'm not dealing with it anymore, since apparently my advice sucks. Have a nice day shitheads and a better day people I care about. And goodbye if we've recently not become friends.
-----Caustic Sarcasm
Phrases and pages, turnin' on the street. We've been lost, and too long overheaped. Everyone's losin it, wars and dying. Lets not forget the kids inside we were. We played, we've run, and as we get older, we play a different game, and it's getting worse, times are tiring, and I guess I'm growing older, we never ran away in the end, and kept strong. I'm just wishing that I could let it go.And I'm wishing I could never say a word, oh no, because words are the stones of life. And I'm casting them one by one, leaving you all behind, hiding in this glass shell of broken mirrors and lies. Because the truth is all that hurts, so it's easier to lie.
----written by yours truly folks, cheesy and suting my mood. Buh bye for now.

Big news of the day

Interests of the week: tormenting boys, eating lots of raw cookie dough so I'm revved up, kicking Rachel the hell out of the kitchen if I could, oh yeah and WINNING THE LEAGUE FOR SOCCER AHAHAHAHHA SUCKAS!
So, what's happened all in all is tonight I made lots an lots of cookies. Chocolate chip to be precise. Have now stuffed myself full on raw cookie dough and actually cookie. Not to mention nummy din-din my mommy made. Unfortunately, my sister came in and took over when one of my conditions to making cookies was that she or my little brother would NOT come into the kitchen and try and "help" aka take over. The tormenting boys bit was just poking fun at John Adams (Whose too damn angsty for his own good, my turf dammit, MINE!) and Josh, cuz he made fun of me for not having a life outside the computer. Then my computer fried. It is now dead. I can no longer access my stories, chats, or life. Therefore I guess that would make me the walking dead. The computer I am using is my dads. And I found an awesome song earlier this year, youtube video here-->http://youtube.com/watch?v=BlH_Htkxtuk . And the last bit? From yesterday, its finally sinking in that for once my team is not second place, not gonna have another season to win indoor (at least till fall and that I'll be there :() and that's making me damn happy. But the yardwork today sucked. Cuz it feels like my feet have been minced up. With a grapefruit spoon. Ahha...
-------Caustic Sarcasm
I gotta be honest, I think you know, we're covered in lies and that's okay. At least somewhere beyond this, I know, but I hope I can find the words to say anyway. Never again, no no, no never again. Cause you're a god, and I am not, and I just thought I'd let you go. And you're a god , oh when I am not, and I just thought I'd let you know. I've been unable to put you down, I'm still learning things I oughta know by now. It's under the table, so, I need something more to show somehow.

Damn Regret!

I have had a much better day than thursday. or yesterday. Hehehehe....Not only has my travel team won the W.H.I.S.T.L.E league we were playing in, we did it without too many serious injuries! Quite honestly they are incredibly violent (the other team) when it comes down to it. BUT! we have triumphed. And all I have is a few bruised ribs and one small urge to keeel something. But it's a small one I can fight down. Heh, despite everyone's best intentions I feel completely...I dunno looonely. I misses my old fwiend. Wah. :(. ah well, good school with few friends I trust lots an lots or bad school with really good friends in a huge hoarde that i trust with all my heart. Big freakin deal. Lots of people have it worse. I just bitch about mine more then most. And the other post yesterday, was very much provoked. Therefore I have reached the conclusion a majority of the male race have no brain cells, just something squishy rattling around up in their skulls. Because they have something in there that makes them whiney-er then us girls. Haha...mean I know, but true. If they were all that intelligent they'd be a bit more observant. Psht. And my music is ownage. SO NYA NYA! And Nina and Diana both give awesome music advice.
--------Caustic Sarcasm
We're high above the ground, we're nowhere to be found, empowered by adrenaline, again I am repeating myself. and I know when it's time for you to sit and pretend. Damn regret I'll try to forget, don't worry about me cuz I'm refined. Cast my line to see what's behind, did you think you'd persuade me to let you go. You're the only one that turned tail, what a feeling no one's e'er, when I'm only in my darkest hour, you will give me the power to sit and pretend.

dating, love, and idiocy?

I've just noticed something about society. Blind I know, but it seems to me I end up alot of times comforting a friend of mine, and letting her cry/whimper on my shoulder about the guy "not liking her or if he does not telling her" and then begins a spiraling self-esteem pit of doom. It seems that the guy is ALWAYS expected to make the first move, or to do everything for the girl. There's always the flower game of "I NEVER get flowers" and when the girl finally gets flowers from a guy she goes "Oh he loooooves me" and then he's really probably buying the flowers to get her to shut the hell up about the flowers crap. I mean, there's gotta be some miscommunication along the way because there is something seriously wrong with society where the girls have to constantly insult themselves to be normal teenagers. It's wrong, the guy doesn't notice that a girl is a beautiful, smart, caring, hilarious, and wonderful person, and the girl assumes that she's worthless. And it always seems like the girl goes all heart-broken and starry-eyed while the guy must stay manly. I mean really WHAT THE FUCK is wrong with society that it conforms us to do this to ourselves? It can't be right can it? I mean, I know I've done the whole "I am not worthy" shait more often then not, but it's not fair to people who still have a chance. so if any guys actually read my goddamn blog PAY ATTENTION, if you get a girlfriend that you never deserve, be soo damn grateful. it is not right to hang a girl up like that. And also next thursday I intend to go watch a lacrosse game. and point and laugh. hehehe.
------Caustic Sarcasm
Why give up, why give in, it's not enough, it never is. So I will go on until the end. We've become desolate. It's not enough it, never is, but I will go on until the end. Surround me, it's easy, to follow part completely. I feel you creeping up again. It's over, no longer, I feel it growing colder. I knew this day would come to end. So let this life come to end. Why give up, why give in, it's not enough, it never is. So I will go on until the end. We've become desolate, it's not enough, never is, but I will go on until the end.

Taken down to a whole new level of shame..sigh

I cannot describe how much exactly i hate my life right now. The few that know me know about this one..thingy. And also I threw a pencil at someone today in english. and the look said person gave me made me feel completely guilty for some reason. >.<' and I tied the soccer game that might decide if our team takes first place or not, and the coach of gh school is a sadist, and I had to go to the orthadontists today, and got these new brackets waay in the back so it rubs the side of my cheek raw. And I'm not playing with my team next season, I'm playing for the gh one, where the majority is 7th graders who either hate me without knowing me because I'm "weeiiird" OR people in our grade who aren't exactly my friends, but aren't exactly unfriendly. And I'm aware I'm being an angsty biotch. Deal. Cuz I am SO in need of ranting right now.
---------Caustic Sarcasm
And I'm so sick of love songs, So tired of tears, So done with wishing you were still here. Said I'm so sick of love songs so sad and slow. So why can't I turn off the radio.